This may shock you to know about me, but I have a habit of speaking before I think.
It’s the whole lack of a filter thing.
I’ve pretty much always been like this. For as long as I can remember, I’ve never really been great at contemplating how the words flying across my tongue may be perceived before I actually allow them to escape.
Sometimes, this ends with me needing to dislodge my foot from my mouth.
But mostly, it just produces hilarious results.
Situations that you can only laugh at.
The boy and I were having a conversation about dreams a few weeks back.
You know, the kind you have at night when you close your eyes and go to sleep. Not the Martin Luther King kind.
Anyway, he was telling me about one he had recently that seemed incredibly real - a dream that had shaken him up a bit even after waking.
Which is when I told him about the dream I have every now and again that does the same to me. The dream where I'm pregnant. Where I have a belly, and can feel the baby kick, and am filled with the elation of that life growing inside of me.
The dream where I’ve been given everything I’ve ever wanted. And more. And where the reality of the situation seems so firm, that when I wake to discover my stomach as flat as ever (or at least, as flat as it's been since 3 surgeries, 2 rounds of IVF, 6 months on Lupron, and 2+ years of battling endometriosis have left it a little more "squishy" than I would prefer), my heart sinks. Every time.
I finished describing this dream in painful detail, only to find him staring at me. With a slightly horrified look on his face.
Searching for words, but able only to choke out "Yikes!"
Because it turns out – the boy is lacking a filter of his own.
And while there were likely 1000 thoughtful or supportive things he could have said in that moment, he said instead the first word that came to his mind.
I just had to laugh.
Because really, dreams of the baby making variety are probably those you shouldn't share with the new-ish man in your life.
Ever.
It kind of makes you look like a baby hungry psychopath who might attempt to steal his sperm when he’s not paying attention.
Which, you know – is totally possible.
Yikes.
ADSPACE
