No, not me.
Even though that would be a story I would love to tell.
It’s not me with the two lines.
Let’s face it – it will probably never be me with the two lines.
But today, that’s OK.
Because it’s someone I care about deeply with those two lines.
Someone who deserves it.
Someone who fought for it.
And someone who beat out endo to get it.
One of those two friends I told you all about not too long ago who has now made it through her first two week IVF wait.
And not only does she have two lines, but she also has the digital confirmation and beta numbers to prove it.
Pregnant.
And because I’m a big fan of sharing whatever information I can here, I want to point you in the direction of the Dr. she is crediting this blissful news to.
Dr. Sher of the Sher Fertility Institute in Las Vegas.
(He has his own blog completely worthy of checking out as well.)
One of the things Dr. Sher does differently than the doctors I saw is that he looks specifically at the reasons why a perfectly healthy embryo may not implant.
And he looks at those reasons not one or two failed transfers in, but right away.
From the start.
Before a woman even has a chance to go through that kind of heartache to begin with.
When my first cycle failed, I specifically asked my doctor at Seattle Reproductive Medicine if we would be looking into the why’s behind it before pushing forward with my second cycle.
I was told that sometimes cycles just fail, and that testing for reasons why an embryo may not have implanted after just one failed cycle would be a total waste of time.
They said we should give it at least a few more failed cycles first before worrying about any further testing.
Which for those of you who are mathematicians out there – would be some $30,0000 + and months and months of heartache later.
Dr. Sher tested and treated that beautiful friend of mine for Natural Killer Cells from the start though.
Because he believes there are autoimmune components to endometriosis.
And that at least 30% of women with endo will fight off an embryo before it ever has a chance of implanting.
Dr. Sher tests and treats before those natural killer cells have a chance to do their thing.
And for that reason alone, I definitely think he is a doctor to look into using if you are a woman with endometriosis preparing to pursue IVF.
I only wish I had done the research myself before my rounds.
I wish I had found him, instead of naively buying into the lies that Seattle Reproductive Medicine was selling.
I am through the moon happy for Linds. In fact, I haven’t been able to stop touching her belly since she showed me those two lines on Sunday. Last night I finally caught myself doing it and stepped back to apologize. We both just laughed over my obsessive need to have my hands on a life barely even 2 weeks along.
Thankfully, she is completely OK with my taking ownership of her stomach already.
Hopefully she won’t get too sick of it as the months progress.
But it all comes out of love. Love for her, and love for that life growing inside of her.
Still… there is that twinge of jealousy in my heart.
That part of me that hurts over the fact that I’m not there with her.
That side that can’t help but wonder…. What if?
What if I had made different choices?
Pursued other options?
Found a doctor who was in it for the medicine rather than the money?
What if…. I had my baby in my arms right now?
There is always a reason.
I believe that.
With all my heart, I believe that.
But there is still part of me that hurts in this.
In wishing it was me.
And in feeling like it never will be.
But if it can’t ever be me – I’m happy it’s her.
Her with the two lines.
Her with the baby beneath her heart.
Her with the happy ending I can’t help but covet.
She’s pregnant.
Endo be damned.
I am going to be a kick-ass auntie.
Now there's just one more pregnancy I want to hear about in the next month.
And no, it isn't my own.
Even though that would be a story I would love to tell.
One down, one more to go.
ADSPACE
