Today was that ultrasound.
The one I’ve been trying to shove out of my brain for the last 6 weeks.
The one that was going to confirm or deny the possibility of the return of endo.
Technically, I had an ultrasound last week when I was in the hospital. But the truth is, I was in so much pain at the time that the ultrasound tech didn’t have much of an opportunity to probe around. It was more of an in and out endeavor. A little game of “just the tip” if you will. He got a good enough look to be able to confirm that a cyst had indeed burst, and then he pulled out.
What a guy.
Either way, I didn’t even think about the other things that ultrasound could have shown until over 24 hours later. I never thought to ask if there were more cysts, or how large they may be. It didn’t occur to me to get any more information at the time. I just wanted it to be over. And I wanted Dr. Jerkface to see what he needed to see in order to believe the pain I was in and pump some of the good drugs into my veins.
Classy class.
Regardless, I still had to wait until today to get any real information.
Unfortunately, the information I got wasn’t exactly anything to get excited about.
Those endometriomas of mine have grown, and expanded, and multiplied.
In 6 weeks, there has been some pretty aggressive spreading.
At this point, there really is no denying that the endometriosis is back. With a vengeance.
Which leaves me at square one.
Only now, I have this whole autoimmune angle to start looking at.
I have my consult with Dr. Cook next week, but I was able to talk to my doctor up here today. Her stance hasn’t really changed much. She doesn’t know what is driving this disease for me. She doesn’t know why it’s been so aggressive. All that she is sure of is that there is something else going on here – that I don’t have a “normal” presentation of endometriosis at all.
I asked her about the possible autoimmune connection, and she told me that while she has heard that theory before, she couldn’t say for sure. She did say that she thinks there are a lot of different causes to this disease, and that for some – there could definitely be some overwhelming autoimmune components.
Which makes sense to me. Pinpointing the cause of this disease has thus far eluded science. Couldn’t that possibly be because there are multiple causes? A variety of reasons for why women are afflicted in varying degrees without any real rhyme or reason?
What if the autoimmune component is the missing piece of the puzzle for me? Not necessarily for everyone with this disease, but for me. The part that we haven’t been looking at, when in reality – it should have been the focus all along.
As per usual, my doctor deferred any treatment plans to Dr. Cook. I think this is one of the reasons I love her so much. She is more than willing to admit that the details of my case may be beyond her scope. But she is still there to talk to me. To bounce theories around with me. And to then point me in the direction of someone she thinks may be able to help me more than she can.
She said that she does want to keep monitoring this though, and requested I get another ultrasound no further than 4 months from now.
If things keep progressing as they are, I can pretty much guarantee that I will be in much sooner than 4 months.
In the meantime, she just wants me to keep her apprised of any decisions I make. I think at this point, my AK doctor is fairly intrigued by my case. She just kept talking about how different my presentation is. How aggressive. How outside the realm of “normal”. I think that from a purely scientific standpoint, she finds it all a little fascinating.
And then from the human standpoint – I know she cares about me and hopes for the best.
I did meet with a holistic chiropractor today as well. He was recommended by the healer, and in turn – he was able to write a script for me to see her weekly and have it covered by insurance.
That’s right. Weekly myofascial massages. Covered by my insurance.
Can’t beat that.
I’ve got to admit though, my session with him didn’t exactly leave me impressed. I can’t explain it, but something about him just left me a little uneasy. I wound up making another appointment for this weekend, mostly because I felt all kinds of pressure to do so, but I was incredibly glad for the vacation I have coming up. That will give me an excuse not to schedule another appointment for a few weeks, and then I don’t think I’ll be going back. Just didn’t seem like the place I was supposed to be. At all.
I am excited to talk about this new autoimmune theory with Dr. Cook though. I’m hopeful that he’ll see some promise to this new possibility, and that he may have some options I’m more comfortable with for combating it.
Either way, here I am. 6 weeks later. Completely convinced that it’s back.
Finding myself at square one.
Seeking out yet another plan B.
And wondering what it is I’ll pursue over the next 6 weeks.
Because eventually, something has to work.
I believe that.
I just need to figure out what that something is.
ADSPACE
