It’s Only Coffee

I have a date.

Kind of.

Sort of.

Maybe.

And I suppose I should tell you that he could possibly be married.

But... It’s only coffee.

I think.

I guess I should back up.

I had a busy Saturday. One that started with me getting my butt out of bed and to the Pilate's studio for a Rolfing session bright and early at 8am.

I am not a morning person.

I am especially not a morning person on the weekends.

But for McDreamy? Yeah… I made it work.

Once I was up, I kind of felt obligated to make something out of my day. I was done with Rolfing by 9:30. An hour I normally wouldn’t even be awake by on a Saturday. So I tried to take advantage of it. I ran to the grocery store, and the post office. I finished up a few errands, and then headed back to the studio at 11:45 for a class. And when I got out an hour later, I had a voicemail. The strangest voicemail I’ve had in a long time.

Hey, this is (strange mystery guys name). You met me on New Years Eve. You may remember, you may not. Either way... give me a call back.

I sat in my car listening to this message dumbfounded for a minute. I must have played it over again at least 3 different times trying to make sure I had heard it correctly.

First of all: I had no idea who this guy was. Not a clue.

Second of all: Wasn’t it almost May? Why in the world was a guy I supposedly met months ago only now getting around to calling me?

Plus, I think it is here that I should point out – this guy had the same name as the ex. Which just left me even more confused.

I was 99% positive that I had not given my number to any guy with that name in recent history. And I was 99.9% positive that I would have remembered if I had.

I went over and over in my head who I had met that night, and was sure of only one thing – no matter how much I had consumed on New Year's Eve, my memories of the evening were clear. Heck – I had relayed every last detail with ease to you all here the very next day.

And the only guys I met that night that I had any interest in at all were Tom with an H (whose calls I went on to avoid for the next several weeks, because it turns out he was not so interesting once I had sobered up) and the guy who wound up being married.

You remember the one, right? I had only mentioned him briefly, but I did tell you about him. The guy who I had intentionally followed from one bar to the next and gone out of my way to introduce myself to (because drunk me is far more bold than sober me) only to find out a few minutes into the conversation that he was married.

Married to a woman who was most definitely there, and who came up and introduced herself to me upon realizing I was hitting on her husband.

To be fair, I think it was pretty clear that I had no idea he was married when I initially approached him. And she was very understanding about the whole thing – laughing it off, accepting my apologies, and sitting and talking with me for about 15 minutes after the fact. Because, to be clear – I genuinely have no interest at all in hitting on a guy who is already taken. I may joke about crushes here and there, but I would never in a million years go there. I wouldn't even have walked up to him in the first place had I realized he was attached. They were out with a big group of people though, and I guess in watching him I just hadn’t noticed the two of them together.

Either way - this girl was gorgeous. It was funny because as soon as I saw her my immediate thought was "I was totally barking up the wrong tree... this guy is way out of my league!" Don't get me wrong, I'm not knocking myself, but... his wife and I were not on the same playing field. Nor were we even kind of the same “type”. She was definitely petite with long dark hair and darker features. Whereas, let's face it - I'm a tall, curvy, blond girl. It was almost humorous that I had approached him at all after seeing her.

She and I chatted for a bit though, and were getting along well when she said she had a close guy friend she thought I should meet. And so, even though I absolutely despise hookups, we exchanged numbers.

And that was that. Never heard from her again, and never contacted her myself. Just last week I was actually looking in my phone thinking that I should probably delete her number.

But for whatever reason… I didn’t.

So there I was, playing the events of that night over in my head and coming back to the same conclusion I had initially – I was sure I had only given my number to 2 people that night.

And this number calling did not belong to either of them.

The only person I could think that it might be was the husband. But I couldn’t figure out why some married man I had met for a brief interval months ago would be calling me now, out of the blue, as though it was the most normal thing in the world. It just didn’t make sense. It couldn’t possibly be him.

He was my first thought – but I thought I was crazy.

And as much as I wanted to just delete the voicemail and move on... I couldn't... Curiosity was killing me!

So, I did what any self respecting blogger would do.

I posted a conversation about it on the community – asking for votes on whether or not I should call him back.

Interesting side note – there was a similar discussion going on the first time I met Mr. Fix-It. And it was the advice given there that gave me the balls to make the move.

So it turns out… I have absolutely zero clue how to navigate my own dating life!

Either way, the general consensus was that I should text him. Which is exactly what I wound up doing. Almost 4 hours after the original voicemail, I sent this:

Got your message... Sorry, but I really don't remember giving my number to any guys on New Years? I was drunk, but I don't think I was drunk enough to forget that? Curiosity is killing me though... Where did I meet you? And just because it's cracking me up... What kind of guy waits almost 5 months to call?!?

His response: I like to take things slow. Would you like to meet for coffee and see if you remember me? I will send you a picture so you can find me at the coffee shop.

After that, I was pretty sure he was a creeper. He wanted to send me a picture? And to lure me to a coffee shop? This did not sound like a good idea. Which is why I responded with:

Um, yeah... Meeting a guy that I maybe met in a bar months ago who I don't remember giving my number to at all kind of sounds like a good way to get murdered. Think I'm gonna pass on that one... Thanks though!

His response: You met me at McGinley's. I was wearing a black DC baseball cap. Ring any bells?

At this point, I KNEW that the only guy I had met at the bar he was talking about was the married guy. But I just could not wrap my head around that... WHY would he be calling me and wanting to meet up?

Me: Yeah... Sorry... Nothing... Clearly I didn't make much of an impression myself though. Otherwise, I'm pretty sure I would have gotten a call at least by February.

Him: You were checking me out at Humpy's before you introduced yourself at McGinley's. You met my ex-wife the same night. I was married then. If my wife would have left me that night I could have called in February.

And there it was. In black and white.

This was definitely the married guy.

And now I was freaking out. Because a.) All I remembered about this guy was that he had been gorgeous. And married. and b.) What in the world was I supposed to do now?!?

So I did the only logical thing for a grown woman to do.

I posed the question to all my closest internet friends and anyone in my phone book willing to answer.

Then – I only took the advice I wanted to hear.

The magical words “Go for it! It’s only coffee!”

(Courtesy of thesinglefilez.com)

So after a bit more back and forth, I sent him a text agreeing to meet him. To which he responded:

Wednesday or Thursday in September works for me, or we could jump right into it and meet this Wednesday.

Yep. That made me laugh. I had basically been giving him hell, and he was holding his own. And remaining persistent to boot.

I dig a guy who can be sarcastic right back with me.

Something mildly amusing has been happening since this all went down though. Two very distinct camps have been forming both online and amongst my circle of friends in regards to this guy and his intentions. There are those who have already overly romanticized him (swooning over the fact that he’s still thinking of me all these month later, and that he’s held on to my number the whole time). And then there are those who have overly demonized him (I should run for the hills because he probably isn’t divorced at all, and I should bring a friend with me – just in case he turns out to be dangerous).

The funny thing is – I think both camps are wrong.

I’m not counting on this guy to be the man of my dreams. In fact, if you’ll remember – I’m not currently looking for the man of my dreams. I’m taking a break from trying to bend the universe to my will, and I’m just focusing on having some fun for a little while. Dating like I used to date. Just for the excitement of dating. With no expectations, and no real intentions at all beyond having a good time.

If everything this guy is saying is true, he's probably just looking for a rebound girl right now. Let’s be honest though – I could probably benefit from a rebound guy myself.

You know, as I rebound from life.

And let's face it people - it's not like I come without my own baggage.

I have no expectations. No thoughts at all really. The truth is – I know nothing about this guy. I don’t remember a single detail, beyond the fact that I had been instantly attracted to him.

That’s it.

And you know what – that’s enough. For me, for right now, for where I’m at in my life – that’s enough.

I just want to have a little fun. Do a little flirting. And let a good looking guy distract me from life a bit.

Even if just for an hour over coffee.

So… I have a date. Tomorrow night after work.

Kind of.

Sort of.

Maybe.

And it's possible he's married.

But hey - it’s only coffee.