I mean, once upon a time I was totally destined to be one of those girls vying for a rose after all.
I don’t really ever talk about the show here, mostly because… well, because it’s pretty much the same show season after season.
I know that. It is contrived, and manipulated, and only as real as reality television can get.
I get it.
But I still love it. And I still watch every episode of every season with a gentle mix of shock, horror, and the pattering heart of a girl who just wants to see someone on TV finding real and lasting love.
And besides, how could I not be hooked when every rose ceremony is “the most dramatic rose ceremony EVER!”
Because of boot camp this week though, I didn’t get to delve into the finale until last night. And the truth is – I still haven’t finished the after the final rose episode.
I have a lot of thoughts about this season. A lot of hopes for Emily and Brad, and also a lot of questions.
The truth is – none of those things are really relevant here. At the end of the day, what we see is reality television. And I’m not sure if any of us ever really knows what is and is not real there. I’m not sure we ever really will. So dissecting all the ins and outs of the show here would just be kind of pointless.
And besides, that’s what the community is for!
The only reason I’m bringing it up at all is because last night as I was watching Brad discuss the remaining two girls with his family, he actually said something that struck me.
Probably the most profound thing I have ever heard during all my years of viewing the most mindless entertainment of all time.
He was telling his mom how happy he was. How truly in love he felt. And his mom said to him “I’m so glad! You deserve that!”
To which Brad responded “Yeah, well… We ALL deserve that.”
I stopped and stared at the screen. Liking Brad more in that moment than I probably had the entire season.
We DO all deserve that. That happy, in love, forever connected feeling.
Unfortunately, I find myself worrying that that feeling is often all too fleeting. As was revealed by just the brief glances I got at the after the final rose special before jetting off to work today.
I know very few people who have actually made it work. Very few couples who years down the line are still happy. Still in love. Still feeling forever connected.
And it makes me sad. And hesitant. I want to believe in love. In happily ever after. In having someone in my life who would forgive me all my craziness simply because they loved me. Someone who I would be willing to do the same for in return.
I want to believe it’s out there. But so often I really find myself questioning. Looking at the couples I know and the examples I’ve been given and wondering if it’s even possible. If it even exists out there for me at all.
Knowing only that I am a girl who could never find love on TV. Because as I watched Emily describe all of her current setbacks I just knew – those same exact things would trip me up as well. No matter how prepared I was going into it.
So, television romance is out.
Not that it was ever really an option, but you know… I like to cover my bases.
I want to believe that we do all deserve that happily ever after forever love.
I want to believe that I deserve it too.
And I want to believe that even more than just deserving it, it’s actually out there. Available for the taking.
But life is so full of ups and downs. Of starts and stops. Of on-again, off-again. I can’t help but wonder.
We do all deserve that.
But does that necessarily mean that we all get it?
Or that it’s even meant to last when we do?
I actually really hope Brad and Emily make it work. Mostly because, I love love. I love seeing people pull through tough circumstances and find their way right back to each other. I love knowing that sometimes even when things look like they're on the rocks, there is a way to redeem what was there in the end.
I want to see them make it work. I want to see them embrace that love. I want to see them find their happily ever after.
Because at the end of the day?
We ALL deserve that.
And I'm all for another example of someone getting it.
