I don’t know why I do it, or what it means, but time and again I put myself in situations where my stomach ends up in knots and my pulse is left rising. The discomfort typically stays with me for days.
No, I’m not an adrenalin junky who puts herself in dangerous positions just to see if she can get out of them. I saw an episode of Bones once where the victim did things just for that kick. She wound up dying after going to a bad part of town to buy drugs solely because she wanted that rush – not from the drugs, but from the danger of buying them.
I don’t do things like that.
But I do have a sick fascination with scary or suspenseful movies, even though time after time they leave me on edge for days after the initial viewing.
And I don’t know why I do it to myself.
We have a local theater that I love. Movies come there after they’ve been playing in the regular theaters for a few months already, and tickets are only $3.50. This theater has a full menu of food though, plus they also serve beer and wine. And their menu items are divine… I regularly crave this garlic appetizer thing they have. Sometimes I want to go to movies there just to get that.
I love the whole setup though, and being able to eat and drink during a movie like that makes waiting for it to get there completely worth it to me. I hardly ever see movies at regular theaters anymore.
And this weekend, this favorite spot of mine was playing Black Swan.
(Courtesy of nydailynews.com)
To be honest, I really had no idea what this movie was about. I assumed it would be a little suspenseful and maybe even mildly creepy, but the previews hadn’t made it overly clear to me what the actual premise of the story was.
I had no idea what I was walking into.
And the best part is that I brought Loo down with me. Loo who told me after the movie that she had never even seen a preview for it at all. She thought it was going to be some kind of outdoor movie.
My poor poor friend!
It was while we were standing in line that I started to get a little nervous. The guy behind us was some kind of self-proclaimed “movie buff”, and he was explaining to the people behind him that this movie was not just about ballet. “Oh no”, he proclaimed. “There is some crazy stuff in this movie! Like people stabbing themselves in their faces crazy!”
Hmmmm…. Face stabbing huh?
What had I gotten us into?
The best part though? One of our guy friends had decided to tag along with Loo and I, bringing along his mother as well. His elderly mother who just so happened to be up in Alaska visiting him.
I was pretty sure this wasn’t the best idea ever, but I didn’t know what to do about it then. It kind of felt too late for a movie change.
But now – I wish we had decided to see Harry Potter instead.
I have to be honest; I still don’t really know what was real and what wasn’t in this movie. All I was able to truly ascertain was that Natalie Portman went nuts, and I’m pretty sure a few other characters did as well.
Anything beyond that just left me gripping my chair and hoping for it to be over.
And during that epic face stabbing scene? Yeah, it turns out I covered my eyes, bent over, and… started whimpering. I’m not kidding. Audibly whimpering. It wasn’t until a few seconds in that I realized I was doing it, and I immediately straightened up and tried to regain my composure. But the damage had already been done. The people around us had no doubt heard my horrified moans.
At least I was able to sit through the whole movie though. Loo had to get up at one point and sit out in the lobby. For an extended period of time. When she came back, she just kept turning to me and saying “I want to go home.” or “I can’t watch this anymore.”
I’m a bad friend, because I made her stay.
If I had to sit through this (and I did - no matter how intense it got, I needed to know how it ended) then she did too.
I’m a worse friend, because I knew that she couldn’t handle movies like this. When we saw The Lovely Bones together, she about lost it during the murder scene. My dear friend just cannot handle movies with intense themes. She’s worse than I am!
And I knew this. But I kind of forgot about it when I suggested the movie. And I had no idea she had no clue what it was about.
I realized after the fact that while I never should have subjected myself to this movie, I really shouldn’t ever have subjected her to this movie.
So I repeat; I am a bad friend.
A bad friend who came home to an empty condo last night (new roommate was at a “party” – oh to be 20 years old again!) and forced Loo to stay on the phone with me as I checked in every closet and turned on every light. I don’t even know what I was looking for. I just know that I was thoroughly creeped out.
I poured myself a glass of wine and tried to soothe my nerves, but I still wasn’t able to fall asleep until past 2. And I woke up around 8 after having a tumultuous dream involving dead bodies and swans.
Seriously.
I don’t like swans.
And I am going to need to avoid creepy movies for a while now.
But hey, at least Natalie Portman won an Oscar.
Because creeper-mckcreepster deserved it.
Hands down.
