A girl who quickly learned that life doesn’t come with road maps. That MapQuest could guide her 3000 miles away from home, but it couldn’t give her the directions to navigating past the real speed bumps.
(Courtesy of shercomindustries.com)
A girl who woke up one day in pain and didn’t know why. A girl who didn’t realize that everything was about to change.
It was in the days following my second surgery for endometriosis that I really began to feel lost. Having just been told how truly severe my case was and how unlikely it was that I would conceive in the future, I was breaking inside. Breaking, but somehow still holding it all together.
And then one night, in the private confines of my room, I finally let the pieces come crashing to the ground. I had just washed my face and was walking through my closet towards my bed when I collapsed. Stoic and put together one minute; on the ground convulsing in sobs the next. I couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t speak. Couldn’t stand. I was curled up in a ball on my closet floor crying harder than I had ever cried before.
It felt like hours before I was able to extract myself from the floor and find my way to the bed. In reality, it was probably no more than 15 minutes. I was emotionally drained, but I knew that sleep was far away from being a possibility. So, I picked up my computer and I started Googling. Looking for answers. For understanding. For awareness.
It was then that I stumbled upon this post. A story about a woman with a diagnosis strikingly similar to mine. A woman with endometriosis so bad that conception seemed impossible. Until one day, suddenly and without expectation, she got those two lines.
And in that moment, I felt peace. And hope. In that moment, I could breathe again.
In the days following that discovery, I began to discuss the idea of starting a blog with one of my dearest friends. She encouraged me. Pushed me. Helped me brainstorm.
I had never been a blog reader. I was (and still am) a girl who loved the feel of a paperback between my fingers. The idea of reading people’s stories online never would have occurred to me. But suddenly, I had a need to share mine. To speak out. To connect. To make my voice heard.
And so, a blog was born.
My understanding of endometriosis is still growing. It’s been almost 2 years since my original diagnosis, and I am still learning. I think there is something to be said for the fact that most of us are learning together.
Today kicks off the start of Endometriosis Awareness Month, and in the spirit of that awareness – I thought it was time to give a shout out to all of the other stories out there. My voice is not the only voice crying out for answers. My story is not the only one worth telling. And in this struggle, I am not alone.
So if you are a blogger with endo, I would like to share a link to your blog here. For others to connect and learn and gain awareness from you. Post your link in the comments, or e-mail it to me at singleinfertilefemale@yahoo.com. I’m going to add a few links right now, but I also need to run out the door to dinner in just a few minutes, so please don’t be hurt or offended if I didn’t include your link. Just shoot me an e-mail to remind me where you’re writing, and I will continue to add blogs through tomorrow.
This is a disease with a million voices. A disease without answers or cures. A disease intent on shredding that roadmap so many of us have.
It’s time to raise awareness. To make your voice heard and scream for answers. Scream for relief. Scream for the life you deserve.
It’s time to connect with others who are also screaming:
Hope2Endure
Endo Confessions
Carpe Diem
24 And Married In The Midwest
Adventures of Endo In The Artic
The Mud and the Lotus
That Girl With Endo
Waiting For Baby
Motherhood After Infertility
A Journey of Endometriosis and Fertility
My Life With Endo and Infertility
A Little Piece of Me
Will you scream with us?
