When I was 18, I started smoking. Just socially at first, mostly because I had a boyfriend who smoked at the time and I liked having an excuse to go out and sit with him whenever he needed a smoke break.
Yes, I was full of all kinds of self-esteem and inner strength at that point in my life.
Either way, it initially started out as an occasional thing.
And then, it was a little more than occasional.
Until finally, it was daily. I was even buying my own packs.
Then suddenly one day something clicked and I thought to myself “What the heck am I doing?!? I hate cigarettes!” And I quit. Just like that. No fan fare or drama. I was simply no longer a smoker. Not even occasionally. Not even every once and a while. Not even after a few too many drinks.
OK, that’s a lie. I’m pretty sure for a while there I still smoked out at the bars if I happened to be drinking with smokers.
But beyond that – I didn’t smoke. I never missed it. Never craved it. Never yearned for a drag again.
And I like to look to that story as an example of the fact that I don’t have an addictive personality.
Forget the years spent battling an eating disorder, or cutting, or drinking far more than was necessary on a regular basis.
(Side note: Holy crap I was a train wreck! How did I ever make it to adulthood in one piece?!?)
Yeah. Forget about all that. I didn’t get addicted to cigarettes, so therefore – I don’t have an addictive personality.
Except… I think I might have an addiction I’ve never really owned up to before.
One that does not come equipped with a 12 step program or weekly meetings.
One that is little known, and rarely talked about.
One that kind of makes it clear what a huge dork I am.
Hi. My name is S.I.F. and I am addicted to greeting cards.
Seriously.
I am a girl with a drawer full of cards. For any occasion and purpose you can possibly imagine. And I can regularly be found rooting through that drawer for the perfect “just because” sentiment.
I just love cards. I love sending them. I love receiving them. I love surprising someone with a card when they least expect it.
I love cards.
I have birthday cards and thank you cards. Goofy cards and naughty cards. Cards that say “I miss you” and cards that don’t say anything at all.
I love cards.
And as such, I really need some sort of intervention. Because today, I found myself heading into a Hallmark store. Navigating directly towards the Fresh Ink display (my brand of choice) and walking out with $50 worth of cards.
$50!
What kind of a person really needs $50 worth of greeting cards?
Especially when you consider the fact that I have at least 30 in my card drawer already as it is!
I did not need more new cards, but… I couldn’t help myself. My one big goal for today was to send off a “Thank You” gift to Dr. Cook and his staff. Something to truly show my gratitude for all they did in helping me to be able to afford this surgery, and in getting me in so quickly.
I wanted to send a “Thank You”, but I realized as I was driving that I had forgotten to get a card out of the drawer. And this simply was not acceptable.
Now, why I couldn’t have been content picking up one card and calling it a day, I’m not sure I’ll ever know. But the sad truth is – that one card I needed turned quickly into twenty before I proceeded to the checkout.
And now, I have a card drawer that is literally overflowing with cards. More than I could ever possibly need. Quite possibly a lifetime supply of cards.
After the Hallmark store, I headed over to Alaska Wild Berry. This is one of my favorite places to get gifts for people out of state, mostly because people from out of state are always excited to get something “Alaskan”. After putting together a basket of my favorite things, I proceeded to checkout and set it all up to be sent to Dr. Cook’s office sometime next week along with the card I had picked up along the way.
The absolutely necessary card, that also came with 19 absolutely necessary friends.
I’m trying not to feel bad about this, but I’m seriously laughing at myself right now. I had no need at all for these cards, but once there in the store staring them down – it was like I couldn’t resist.
I’m especially amused by the handful of lovey-dovey cards I managed to throw into the mix. Because really – who am I planning on sending romantic sentiments to at any point in the near future?
The good thing about cards is that they don’t go bad. And that my momentary card insanity didn’t exactly break the bank. It was ridiculous and unnecessary, but I’m sure I will put all those cards to good use at some point or another.
Either that, or one day I’ll open up my own card store.
Because if you can’t beat an addiction, you might as well embrace it.
