I didn't hate seeing those numbers for once!
Of course, I wiped it all out quickly enough in a swooping payment towards the baby making debt, but… it was nice while it lasted.
And I can now officially say that I have paid off one of the accounts I borrowed from. The line of credit at my bank is free and clear as of this morning. I was also able to throw a good chunk towards the credit card as well. I’m hoping to have that paid off in the next few months, and to then really turn my focus on paying off the loan from Seattle Reproductive Medicine as well as the money my incredible grandmother gave me.
It sounds like a lot. In truth, it is a lot. So much in fact that I would be embarrassed to write the total number here. Suffice it to say; it was a big number. One that still makes my head hurt to think about. One that makes me want to throw something at the wall when I remember that there are people in this world who get pregnant without even trying.
More money than I spent on my college education (all 7 years of it). More than I spent on my car. More than anyone should ever spend on anything in just 1 year of their lives.
But, it is what it is. I know now that I needed to try. That I needed to know. That I needed to give myself this shot, because if I didn’t… I would have always wondered.
And now I know. I tried. I failed. And I'm paying for it.
But I am proud to proclaim that I have already paid off a quarter of the debt I accumulated in the last year. And that I have a plan (is anyone surprised to hear there's a plan?) in place right now to have the rest of it (or at least, most of the rest of it) paid off by the end of the year. The goal is to be debt free by the time next May rolls around, so that if I do decide to pack up and leave – I can do so without owing anyone anything when I get on that plane.
And the truth is – I don’t think that’s a totally unrealistic goal. In fact, I actually think this is one thing I’m going to set my mind to and accomplish. I have a good job, I make decent money writing on the side, and bringing a roommate into the mix is going to be a huge help. One year from now I hope to have every aspect of this endeavor behind me. A distant memory that I can move forward from. One that doesn’t continue to pinch my wallet from month to month for any longer than absolutely necessary.
And today was a good day for that endeavor.
It’s going to take some sacrifice. Some nose to the grindstone effort. Maybe even a little bit of obsession in terms of sticking to the plan.
But at the end of the day, I am going to get there. I am going to get this debt paid off, and then I am going to forget about it.
Moving onward and upward.
And hopefully outward… to lands far far away and beaches literally crying out for my toes in the sand.
One year.
Totally doable.
And then on to bigger and better things...
