Even reality TV is typically skewed and edited to the point of being ridiculously unrealistic.
That is, of course, with the exception of Big Brother. The best reality television show of all time.
(you know – just in case the casting agents are reading right now)
But yeah, for the most part – television is a far cry from reality. One only has to look at the depictions of infertility on TV to know that pieces of the puzzle are always missing.
On Friends, Phoebe did IVF and got pregnant on the first try with triplets. She stood on her head, and got her two pink lines the same day as her transfer. No two week wait for her. Nope. Just easy peasy, wham, bam, thank you ma’am – you’re knocked up.
Again on Friends with Monica and now on Grey's with Meredith we are introduced to the term “hostile uterus”; a chronic condition I’m not sure I have ever heard of a single “real” woman being afflicted with. I'm pretty sure it's a made up diagnosis.
And on One Tree Hill last year, Brooke got the news no girl wants to hear.
The news that she was infertile.
Only, we’ve never actually been told what exactly it is that’s wrong with her.
Just that she can’t have children.
Ever.
Now, this is (admittedly) one of my favorite shows. I know it’s on the CW. I know it’s made for teenagers. I know I shouldn’t be as invested in it as I am.
But in my defense – I’ve been watching it since I was a teenager.
And I love it.
About 7 years ago, the One Tree Hill concert tour came to town. Michelle Branch was headlining, but Haley (Bethany Joy Galeotti) was going to be there as well. I was still living in Arizona at the time, and a good friend and I decided we just had to go.
We were the only people in the crowd over the age of 14.
That is, if you don’t count the mom’s who had been dragged along.
After the concert, Bethany Joy and a few of the other performers set up a table and were signing autographs. My friend and I concocted a plan. We were grown women. Twenty-one years old. The only grown ups at the show. And we knew all the best bars in town. These famous people didn’t. They needed us. We were going to start talking to them, and invite them to go out with us. And they were going to think we were so cool that they simply wouldn’t be able to resist.
Yes, that was really our plan.
We intentionally went to the very back of the line because we wanted to be the last people to speak to them. We were that convinced that this was all going to go our way.
In reality, when it was our turn, we both froze. The only grown women in line to get autographs, and we could barely remember our own names.
So really, my reaction to K. Bell years down the line shouldn’t have come as a shock to anyone. Apparently, I don’t do well around famous people!
The point is though – I love this show. I have loved this show for a long time.
And now, they have an infertile character. One of my favorite characters in fact. You would think I would be over the moon!
And some weeks, I really am. Brooke will make some flip comment and I’ll find myself grinning because I know it’s something that would totally come out of my mouth. One week Jamie asked “Aunt Brooke” where babies come from, and she kind of grimaced and sarcastically said “Not from me.” I seriously sat there cracking up. It was perfectly timed and exhibited the same type of sense of humor I really do try to lend to this whole infertility gig.
But other times, I’m just annoyed. I want to know more about her condition. More about why it is the doctors are so sure she won’t ever have children. The only things I can think of where a doctor would be so adamant that there wouldn’t even be room for discussion border along the lines of hermaphroditic conditions. And I just don’t like thinking about Brooke with undescended testes instead of ovaries.
Then again, Brooke also gives me hope sometimes. She has this new husband who is so incredibly supportive of her condition.
(Courtesy of cwtv.com)
Good old Julian. I have to admit; I have found myself dreaming about Julian. He is sweet, and funny, and just dorky enough to be adorable. Plus… he is passionate about her. Last week he looked her in the eyes and told her he wanted to adopt with her. That he wanted to raise a child with her. That he didn’t care how or where or when they got their baby – he just wanted to have a baby with her.
And my heart melted. Literally, melted. I have a lot of fears about adoption. A lot of things that honestly leave me wondering if I’ll ever actually do it. Lately, I’ve even been trying to wrap my head around the idea of being child free. A lifetime of traveling and doing what I want when I want. I’ll be honest when I say that I find myself losing my ability to breathe a lot when I try to contemplate that scenario. But still… I worry about adoption. About it’s future role in my life.
If I had a guy like Julian in my life though? One who was so sure and so strong and so willing to do whatever it took to raise a child with me?
Yeah, I’m pretty sure all those fears would melt right away.
I’m wondering where I could find myself one just like him. Contemplating calling up the As Seen On TV Store and asking if they have any bearded, green eyed versions. Curious how much the upgrades would cost me.
I want myself a Julian.
Of course, last night (just a week after Julian made this grand proclamation) they were selected by a birth mother to adopt her unborn baby. Apparently living in TV land means that you also get to bypass the paperwork, social worker, and payment phase of adoption and skip right to the good stuff. No years of waiting, or lawyers, consultations, and psych evaluations necessary. Just step right up and claim your baby.
No wonder the general public has such an unrealistic idea of how easy adoption is. No wonder people seem to think that jumping to adoption after infertility is such a simple and available decision to make.
Because in TV land – it really is.
And at this point I would also bet $1000 that Brooke ends up pregnant within a few months of the adoption going through.
Which will probably wind up making me throw my remote at the television.
I wish I lived in TV land.
I wish I lived there with Julian.
And I think I might actually wish I was Brooke Davis.
At the very least though, I wish that life was as simple as seen on TV.
