I like to believe that I have eclectic music tastes. That I can get my head bopping to just about any tune. That I can find the deeper meaning behind the lyrics and the soul beneath the rhythm.
I like to think I’m a musical connoisseur.
Which is why I hope you’ll forgive me when I reveal to you some of my trendier favorites as of late. Music I’m not even kind of proud to admit liking, but that I find myself singing along to nonetheless.
And just so we’re clear – I do not sing well.
First up: Taylor Swift. Now, as a girl who used to frequent open mic nights and made a point of dating guitarists, I am fully aware right now that I should be ashamed of myself. Admitting to liking Taylor Swift is right up there with admitting to liking Justin Bieber.
Oh wait. I already did that too.
Whatevs. I don’t care. The girl has a new song lately that totally has me stopping in my tracks every time I hear it. Just listen to the lyrics, and I’m sure that those of you who have been around for any extended period of time can figure out why it speaks to me. It's like the chick got all up in my head or something:
So there it is. I’m a closet Taylor Swift fan. I will not apologize.
But I will hopefully redeem myself (if only slightly) with the song that has practically become my mantra over the last few weeks:
Yes, it’s true. I have found myself singing along to Jason Derulo. Almost daily in fact.
And not just singing either. It's possible that there may be some dancing in front of my mirror as well. My own personal mood lifter.
Because let's face it - I do feel better after proclaiming my S-O-L-O status to my mirror with Jason Derulo as my guide for some reason.
Not just because of my lack of a man either. In reality, I actually used to really love being single. I loved my freedom. My ability to do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. The feeling of having no one to answer to. So often lately though, I find myself wishing for more. Wishing for the baby. The love. The happily ever after.
When the truth is; I was pretty gosh darn happy before I ever found myself yearning for any of that. I really was. I had a good life. The kind of life where I could pick up at the drop of a hat and move across the country if I wanted to. Where I could travel, and drink, and date, and… be free to be me. Whoever it was I decided that person was from day to day. I took care of myself. Completely and wholly. And I was happy. Really and truly happy.
Somehow though, in my quest for something more, I have forgotten how to do that. How to be happy with the life laid out in front of me. How to enjoy my freedom. The peace and quiet I am able to come home to after a long day, and the wild and crazy nights I’m still able to indulge in whenever the mood strikes me.
I was so ready to move on to that next step. And the truth is, I am still ready to move on to that next step. I am still ready to find love, and I am more than ready to have my baby in my arms. But in the interim? The time between now, and when that dream actually becomes a reality?
I’m riding solo.
And the truth is – that really isn’t such a bad thing.
In fact, it used to be a life I adored.
So yeah, I’ve had Jason Derulo on repeat more times than I care to admit over the last few weeks.
But you know what?
Now I made it through the weather
better days are gonna get better
I’m riding solo.
And I’ll be damned if I’m not going to make the most of it.
ADSPACE
