I have to say that I left work yesterday both grateful and anxious that it the weekend was beginning.
Grateful, because it had been a long and busy week.
Anxious because... it's almost time for me to leave for California. I only work a half week next week, and then I take off on Thursday morning. I have a ton to do between now and then, and almost don't feel like I have enough time to do it all. Plus, my surgery is now just a little over a week away.
And as excited as I am for an end to this pain, I am also a bundle of nerves regarding all the "what if's" that surround any surgery of this kind.
It's possible I sent a friend the log in information for my blog just the other day. You know, just in case I die under the knife or something.
She laughed at me and called me over dramatic, but I had to remind her that if Mandy Moore can become comatose and brain dead after routine surgery, it could happen to any of us.
(Just for the record - Mandy Moore is, to the best of my knowledge, still alive and kicking. That was a Grey's Anatomy reference for those of you too cool for TV!)
Obviously, I don't actually think I'm going to die. But you know, I'm covering all the bases. And doing what I do with everything that makes me nervous... making fun of it until it seems less scary.
I had dinner last night with that crazy friend of mine, and on the way home I pulled into a parking lot and left a Random Act's CD on the windshield of the first car in the lot.
A silver SUV that was quite possibly even dirtier than my car, which is no easy feat seeing as I take very little interest in cleaning my car. Especially this time of year, when it's just going to get dirty again.
The next song on the playlist has a message that I would probably do well to remember over the next few weeks. A message about letting go, and allowing God to take the reins.
Something I could definitely be a little better at.
Because let's face it; I tend to worry. Probably far more than is ever actually necessary.
So, I'm working on letting go and letting God.
And succeeding maybe half the time.
Baby steps people, baby steps.
Let Go, Lindsay McCaul
ADSPACE
