By what drives them. Entices them. Compels them.
And after making it pretty plainly clear just a few days ago that this space right here is not being put out there for dating purposes, I am also beyond perplexed by people. By the e-mails that found their way into my inbox today.
Five e-mails to be exact. All from the same man. Even though I hadn’t replied to any of them.
I found myself reading and re-reading these e-mails today, hoping that at some point; understanding would wash over me. That I would suddenly get why this person decided sending me these e-mails was even remotely appropriate.
Unfortunately, it didn’t happen.
And as I sat there staring at my computer screen, I finally realized “It has come to this. I can no longer keep these gems to myself.”
You see, if Creepy McCreepsters are going to continue sending me this utter nonsense, I am no longer going to be the only person reading it. I just can’t handle that anymore. Every time I get one of these e-mails, I have to fight the urge to mass forward it to everyone I know.
I try to have compassion. Understanding. Concern even, for men who are clearly delusional.
But it finally dawned on me today; if they are that delusional, someone should probably be monitoring their computer time.
As it is though, I’m thinking that a published record of these e-mails may just be in my best interest. Because let’s just say that one of these creepers actually is borderline insane, and that something does wind up happening to me somewhere down the line…
Well, in that unfortunate case, I want you (dear readers) to please point the police in the direction of the men penning these e-mails first.
Because I'm telling you, something just isn’t right here.
And so, I am not going to feel bad about this. I’m not. Because in reality, if I have to be subjected to these e-mails, you should be too.
I need someone laughing along in horror with me.
So ladies and gentlemen, I would like to take the time to introduce you to Guenther. The gentleman who felt the need to write me 5 e-mails today, each increasing in weirdness.
Now Guenther, if you are reading here and don’t understand why your e-mails are being published, I would like to encourage you to read this post here. Go ahead. Just click the link. Hopefully after reading that, you might gain some insight into how odd these e-mails of yours are.
For the rest of you, here is all that Guenther shared with me today (along with the responses I formulated in my head but never actually sent – because honestly, I have no interest at all in entering into a dialogue with Guenther).
Email #1 (Subject: This is Me):
You are a lucky woman. You are not only young, but also beautiful. If your personality is as nice as you look, there will be no problem to make your dream come true.
I had a friend who was thirty when she decided she wanted a baby, she got pregnant and the father of the child never found out. Shannon married two weeks later and she had a second child. She lives happily after.
I always wanted a family it just did not happen. So after I gradated from University at age 40, I went to Europe instead. I think I had around six trips.
Now it will never happen. I retired seven years ago when I was diagnosed with prostate cancer. I received 39 radiation treatments and I survived the cancer. Then in 2008 I had a heart failure. I survived that one also. Then I broke my ankle. I am still trying to deal with that because it will not heal. I am 69 now.
No matter what curves life throws at you we are survivors. I live in Vancouver Canada
Guenther
OK Guenther, first things first… You are a 69 year old man. Why are you reading my infertility blog? Also, thanks for the picture. I don't think this e-mail would have been complete without it.
Email #2 (No Subject):
I have been watching your video. There is a pill which causes multiply births. And it works. They use it in England.
Guenther
What video are you referring to Guenther? And how many times have you watched it? Also – thanks for the information on that pill. Who knew? I’m sure it will turn out to be the answer to all my problems.
Email #3 (Subject: Babies):
I watched your video and read your Blog. Looks like we both want to have children. I am very apprehensive as to what I am about to suggest. I propose that we get together to see if we can not make a baby. You will not have to pay anything for it.
The idea is you come and stay with me, here in my apartment in Vancouver get to know me and then we c an make love to see if we both are able to accomplish what we both want.
No I am not crazy or weird. I am being help full. It will fulfil your dream and mine.
You can dowload Skype for free and talk to me in person.
Guenther
Wow Guenther. Wow. Glad to know you’re not crazy or weird. And thanks for the offer of lovemaking. Sounds divine. Especially the whole I wouldn't have to pay for it part. Sex has been getting pretty damn expensive for me lately.
Sadly, I have a feeling that between your radiation treatments (plus the whole being 69 years old thing) and my infertility – we wouldn’t exactly get very far in the baby making process.
P.S. Thanks for the information on Skype. I've never heard of this new technology.
Email #4 (No Subject):
I apologise for my suggestion. It is just that with the medical plan we have here in Canada, having babies is free.
Guenther
Good to know Guenther. Good to know.
Email #5 (Subject: Healthy Food):
(This e-mail contained nothing beyond pictures of foods Guenther apparently deems healthy. I’m not kidding. No words, just pictures of food.)
Ummmm…. Guenther… did you just call me fat?
So, what do you think? Does 5 totally random and weird e-mails in one day qualify Guenther as stalker status?
And even more importantly – should I take him up on his offer?
