I woke up this morning totally unaware of the lesson that awaited me at church today.
One of those lessons that was a reminder of God's ability to give us all a little push from time to time.
I was tired, and cranky, and didn’t really want to go at all. The truth is that had I not been signed up to volunteer in the nursery again today, I likely wouldn’t have gone. I’m leaving on Thursday, and there is still laundry to be done, a bag to be packed, and things around the house I would like to accomplish before I come back. Because who knows how long it will be before I feel up to mopping again after this surgery.
But, I was scheduled to volunteer in the nursery, and that wasn’t a responsibility I was willing to simply forgo. So, I got myself up and out of bed and into the shower to start my day. Already ticking off in my mind all the things I would need to accomplish once I got home.
Already bypassing my time with God in my head in favor of the “more important” tasks I would need to accomplish after I finished my Sunday duty.
Please tell me that I’m not the only one who does this? The only one who gets so caught up in “life” that sometimes she forgets to slow down and spend some time with God?
Needless to say, I was distracted. And when I got to church and worked my way up the stairs to the Sunday School classes, I was already thinking to myself that I wished I didn’t have to be there today.
I was greeted by a sign on the year 3 room, saying that the 3 year olds would be in with the 4 year olds for today only.
I wandered into the year 4 room unsure of what was going on. The teacher in that room informed me that the woman who normally teaches the 3 year olds class had felt the need to sit in church with her husband today. She didn’t say it in a bad way at all. In fact, she was completely understanding of this need and very warm and genuine as she described it. But she told me that she had volunteered to teach both classes for the day, and that because she already had volunteers of her own – my services would not be needed.
“Why don’t you head downstairs and enjoy church today?” she urged.
And already, I was laughing. Because I knew in my head that had this been just a regular Sunday for me, I would not have come at all today. And yet, here I was… being pushed into service.
I immediately knew that God wanted me in today’s sermon.
Which is why I couldn’t help but laugh some more when not 5 minutes after I had sat down, the worship leader began to talk about abortion.
Now, you have to understand… my church doesn’t touch on these topics very often. We are more of a service-oriented church, welcoming and open to everyone. It’s one of the things I love so much about where I go. There is no judgment exhibited in the sermons. No hard and heavy proclamations made. And even when the touchy subjects are touched upon, they are done so in such a respectful manner that it is difficult not to hear the message.
But no, abortion is not a regular topic of conversation at my church. And given the timing, I found myself just looking up to the sky and smirking as I thought “Yes, I hear you!”
The reason the topic of abortion came up this morning was because of a nationwide effort amongst churches to promote life. Apparently this was an effort that was supposed to go underway last week, but for whatever reason my church wasn’t able to show the accompanying video at that time. So, they showed it today. And the pastor then launched into the churches own stance on the subject.
He started by first offering nothing but love to those who had walked that path. He didn’t want them to think for a single second that they were being judged within the confines of this church. He prayed for healing for them. For the ability to move forward from that place. For the willingness to forgive themselves if they by any chance were still struggling with guilt over their choices.
Because he was clear that God did not want them punishing themselves (or allowing others to punish them) anymore than they already had.
And then he called for volunteers. Not to picket, or to spew propaganda, but to instead counsel women who may be struggling with this choice. To offer them hope and alternative options. To give them other choices if perhaps they were unsure of the choice laid out in front of them.
I have to say, that is a pro-life movement I could get behind. One that doesn’t condemn or try to force views, but rather gently offers alternatives and a helping hand. Because while I am pro-choice, I am not pro-abortion (meaning that while I will always respect the personal choices of others on this topic, the choice of abortion will also still always be one that hurts my heart). And I do believe that for those who are unsure, guiding them in another direction is perhaps the most incredible thing we can do for them.
I swear to you, I felt like I was sitting there having a conversation with God though. Giving concessions and shouting to the skies “yes, I hear you!” And laughing the entire time, because it felt like getting a playful shove from above.
For the record, I am still pro-choice. This one sermon did not suddenly change my views. It's an issue that I truly feel is made of a million shades of gray, and while I can proclaim loudly that I myself would never have an abortion, I am not willing to angrily push that choice upon others who have walked a path I could never possibly comprehend. But, I am thinking about volunteering with the organization my church has set up. Perhaps when I get back and am feeling more healed. I’m not sure yet how I would cope with counseling women considering abortion, but it’s something I at least want to consider doing. Because while I am pro-choice, I do think that for those struggling with that choice – offering alternatives and aid is an incredibly noble cause. Helping women to choose how I myself would choose (rather than trying to force upon them a set of ideals with judgment and condemnation) sounds like something I could get behind.
And something I was meant to hear today.
The pastor then launched into a sermon with a focus on love; on finding love within the scripture. He made a point that really struck me at the time. He said that if the teachings of the bible are leading us towards judgment and hate, we are reading it wrong. We are teaching it wrong. He said that the bible leads us to love each other. To welcome each other in with open arms despite any past sins each of us may have committed. Because none of us is clean. None of us is pure.
One of the things that pushed me out of church in the first place was judgment. The judgment I saw mostly directed towards homosexuals after my mother came out as a lesbian. It was (and still is) something that stuck with me and marred my view of religion. That kind of judgment and hate is not what the bible calls for though. It is instead something that many believers fall to. Forgetting their own sins as they pick apart the sins of others. As they determine a list of sins they feel is more detrimental than all the rest.
Forgetting that the bible tells us a sin is a sin is a sin. That they are all equal. That lying, or judgment, or gossiping are all right up there with the rest.
None of us is innocent.
There are too many churches that forget that though. Too many believers who would have you believe they have not fallen claim to sin. That they are above those who have. But it simply isn’t true. We are all sinners. We all falter. We all make mistakes.
And the bible teaches us to focus on love all the same.
I am the first to admit that I judge – most harshly, I judge those who judge. Because I cannot stand the condemnation I see so often. Because I find myself wanting to rally against anything that even kind of resembles the judgment I saw directed towards my mother as a young child. Because I want nothing more than to tear down those who so misread the word that they determine their place on this earth as above that of anyone else’s.
As if they believe they have somehow been granted the superior ability to proclaim the course of punishment God has laid out for anyone who in their eyes has strayed.
My reasons for judging don’t really matter though, because I do it. I condemn judgment. When in reality, I should be focusing on love. On showing those who judge a better way with love. And patience. And grace.
I try to rally against judgment, when instead... I should simply be setting a better example.
Yes, it was a lesson I needed today. One that I likely would have skipped had I not already been scheduled to work upstairs. One that I wouldn’t have heard at all had I not been directed to go back downstairs and sit in on the sermon.
God has a sense of humor.
And today, he definitely had me laughing.
But... he also had me listening.
ADSPACE
