Admittedly trying to deduce what this year ahead holds for me.
I used to read my horoscope every day. There were even times when I allowed it to guide me. When I would read something for the day, and react to whatever circumstances arouse based on that horoscope.
I eventually realized how silly this was. How much daily horoscopes vary based on where you’re reading them from, and how crazy it is to think that a few sentences could apply to so many people’s lives on any given day.
I stopped reading my horoscope a long time ago. While it had been fun and interesting up to that point, it started to feel like a waste of time for me.
And I didn’t really have time to waste.
Lately though, I find myself wishing for a magic eight ball. Something I can shake up and learn all the answers from. A little bit of insight into the future to come.
I’ve thought about palm readers, and fortune tellers. Questioned the validity of psychics and tarot cards. Wondered if there really is any way at all to tell what the future holds.
And so today, I started looking up my 2011 horoscope.
And I remembered why I stopped reading them in the first place.
The insight in horoscopes is vague and open to interpretation. There are ways to make the information provided apply to a million different aspects of life. Ways to try to make it all fit, when in reality; there may not be anything of value there at all.
I’m not saying astrology is a completely invalid study. In fact, I can honestly say that I fit the mold of an Aries pretty well. Most of the quintessential qualities hold true for me.
I am undoubtedly a ram at heart.
(Courtesy of heavenlyblue.jp)
And most people I know share traits dictated by their signs as well.
Astrology probably does hold some truths.
But it can’t predict the future. No more than any other hocus pocus out there.
As much as I want to know what the next year holds (the next 10 years in fact) there is no way of finding that out until I live it. No predictions to be made until the moments have actually passed.
The only one who knows my future is God, and unfortunately; it would appear as though He isn’t too keen on giving me any hints right now.
It’s all a test of patience. Waiting to see how life is going to turn out.
And unfortunately, there is no magic eight ball that can truly predict the outcomes.
So at this point, I honestly don’t know what the future holds.
But I’m realizing that in that not knowing, there is hope.
That as long as I still have those baby making parts inside of me, there is hope.
Hope that there could be a bigger plan. That somewhere down the line, I could still get my miracle.
Hope that even if that miracle never comes, I may achieve something greater. And in finding my way to my child (no matter how they may be brought into my life), there may someday be understanding.
I wish I could open up a horoscope and see how it’s all going to play out. I wish I could know just what 2011 (and 2012, and 2013, and on and on) have in store for me.
But I can’t. Because that plan is under lock and key at the moment.
Still… Most of what I read today said that 2011 is going to bring me (as an Aries) some money.
Lots of money in fact.
And I’ve got to tell you, as a girl who literally bled money last year; I don’t hate the sound of that.
So, maybe I shouldn’t knock it all just yet.
If the stars want to throw money at me – I suppose I’ll let them.
And then maybe I could reevaluate how I feel about horoscopes in 2012.
