I wound up going pretty casual with my outfit. I just couldn’t decide what to do, and it was cold outside. So I opted for my nice boots, jeans, a cute top, and some cheap plastic jewelry I had lying around. It was all pretty sedated, and I was far from being the most put together girl in the room.
But I didn’t stand out like a sore thumb either, so that was good.
Mr. Fix-It and his roommate wound up heading to the party around 7, and since I was nowhere near ready at that point I said I would meet them there at 8. As soon as I got to the door though, there was an issue. Problems with my name on the list, and a woman who was looking at me like I was trying to crash the party.
I mean, technically I was trying to crash the party, but you know; those are just minor details.
Mr. Fix-It thankfully wound up spying me at the door, and as soon as he realized there was an issue, he grabbed his roommate and they put down their drinks and waited with me until it was all sorted out.
It was all very chivalrous.
Which was good, because I was totally beet red embarrassed. I mean, held at the door at a big celebrity Party?!? When did I become a Hollywood cliché?
Once in, I went and got in line to get the guys new drinks. They had, after all, abandoned their previous beverages for me and it was an open bar anyway, so it’s not like I had to pay anything. Beyond that though – the bar was surrounded by men. I knew I had a better shot than any of them at getting service.
And I was right. I quickly made friends with one of the bartenders (a skill that served me well back in my heavy drinking days) and had free drinks in hand for both boys.
Let the party begin!
Mr. Fix-It and I were actually off by ourselves in the middle of the room when I first spied John Krasinski. We had been people watching in a big bad way, but up to that point it hadn’t seemed like any of the celebrities had made an appearance yet.
Missing Jim (yeah, I just called him Jim) would have been hard though. That man is tall in real life!
(Courtesy of Google Images)
We had actually been talking briefly about my whole situation, and I had boldly asked him how much alcohol it was going to take for him to want to kiss the possibly pregnant girl at the end of the night. He looked down at his glass (only his second) and said “I think I’m already there.”
Yes, I swooned. And I didn’t know what to say. Which is why it was good I saw Mr. Krasinski at that moment. I immediately pointed him out across the room, and then scolded myself for being so uncool. We started walking that direction, hoping that some of the other celebrities would be hanging out there as well.
And we were right. There they were, all congregated in a little huddle. In a room full of hundreds of people, the popular kids were definitely sticking together.
Just like high school.
We found Mr. Fix-Its roommate and a few other people, and as we were standing there chatting Drew Barrymore came right up to us and joined in on the conversation.
(Courtesy of Google Images)
I am so not joking. She was right there. Talking to us like it was the most normal thing in the world!
I couldn't get over how little she was. She was seriously so petite in real life!
She was a little disheveled, but for the most part more put together than I would have expected. I did have to laugh though, because just yesterday someone had mentioned that she hardly ever even wears a bra out, and one of the first things she wound up saying was “I actually decided to wear a bra tonight!”
She regaled us with a list of bars around town she had gotten drunk at, and even made a point of telling us about a night last week when she couldn't remember how she had gotten back to the hotel. She then proclaimed “I’m getting too old for this!”
And there I stood. Speechless. The boys (because I was, once again, in the position of hanging out with all guys) kept her talking for a while, but I’m not sure I said more than two words to her.
I completely lost my ability to speak.
After she left, the guys needed more drinks so I sauntered back to the bar. I looked over in their direction at one point, and Mr. Fix-It was totally motioning to me at the girl standing right next to him. I looked, and there she was!
Kristen Bell!
(Courtesy of Google Images)
I frantically mouthed at him not to lose her, and then I set about getting those drinks as fast as possible. I swear, I have never in my life felt like something so simple has taken me so long. And when someone brushed up against my butt (which is hard to miss) I didn’t even think twice about it until I heard the voice that said “I’m sorry”.
I turned around, and there was John Krasinski. Looking me in the eye and apologizing for bumping into me.
Seriously, where was I?!?
I got the drinks and was back by Mr. Fix-Its side in minutes. Her back was to us, but she was definitely right there. Close enough for me to reach out and touch.
And so, that’s what I did. As soon as the girl she was talking to walked away, I reached out and touched K Bell’s shoulder.
Only then; I had no idea what to do.
So I said the only thing I could think of.
“I love you. I really love you.”
I could have died. Even as I said it, I knew I was ridiculous. What kind of person comes to a party like this and turns all stalker fan so quickly?
But she couldn’t have been sweeter. She looked right at me and said “Oh, I love you too!”
So, I just kept going.
I told her how many times I’ve watched Veronica Mars, and that I really think there should be a movie. I told her they filmed at my school, and that she has just always seemed like such a cool person to me.
Throughout all of this, Mr. Fix-It was looking at me like I had just grown two heads. It was clear he no longer recognized me at all.
He then looked at K Bell and said “I don’t even know who you are.”
Which was good. Because it lightened the crazy stalker girl mood I had been setting.
She honestly couldn’t have been nicer though. She stood and talked to us for a few minutes, and then politely excused herself. Never being anything but sweet.
Still – I could have killed myself for gushing like that. So much for K Bell and I becoming BFF’s.
After she left, Mr. Fix-It spent a good 15 minutes making fun of me. It was deserved.
We then turned around, and Dermot Mulroney was standing right behind us holding the tiniest most precious infant you have ever seen. I’m not sure whose baby it was, but the way he was cooing over her was incredible.
(Courtesy of Google Images)
A panty dropping moment to be sure.
It was then though that we realized who was standing next to him. Ted Danson!
(Courtesy of Google Images)
I swear to you, this was the weirdest night of my life.
Most of the stars seemed pretty mellow. It was clear almost immediately that this party wasn’t really for them, and that they were simply there to make their appearances and leave. I think most of the big names had ducked out by 10:30 at the latest. I never even saw a drink in Kristen Bell’s hand at all.
Although, Drew Barrymore did come up and start dancing right in front of me at one point… so I’m pretty sure she was drinking!
It really was wild. And I am ashamed to admit that I was totally star struck.
By each and every one of them.
Once all the cool people had left though, it seemed like the real party began. And Mr. Fix-It definitely started throwing back bottles of wine.
Yes, I said bottles.
We were off by ourselves most of the night, and started talking when he was a few glasses in.
I can’t even really recall all the conversations we had, but it was almost unfair. I was definitely sober, and he was definitely not.
I sort of felt like I was taking advantage.
But he was pretty quick to tell me what he was thinking. He let me know that I had definitely thrown him for a loop the other night, but that the more and more he thought about it, the more he at least understood where I was coming from. He again made it clear that he was not ready to be anyone’s daddy (and I again reminded him that I hadn’t asked him to be), but he did say “I think I’d be the cool friend though. And that kid is going to need some testosterone! So I’ll totally be the guy who comes over and does guy stuff with him.”
To which I said “And what if it’s a girl?”
His face dropped. It was clear he hadn’t thought of that possibility.
He really did seem to have come around to the idea though. At one point in the night he even proclaimed “I really hope you are pregnant.”
I’m not sure how much of that was honesty, and how much of it was red wine; but it was nice to hear.
A little later in the evening an older gentleman from New Zealand came over and started talking to us. He had complimented my necklace (a charm I had literally tied around my neck with clear thread – because I’m classy like that) and Mr. Fix-It wrapped his arms around me and said “Isn’t she beautiful? I mean, look at this girl? Isn’t she just gorgeous?”
Yes, I was blushing.
And then it happened. Mr. New Zealand looked Mr. Fix-It in the eye and said “Is this lovely girl your bride?”
Yes. Bride.
I think anyone who knows me well enough knows that I had to swallow back the vomit after that comment.
I might have commitment issues.
But Mr. Fix-It took it in stride and said “No, we’re not quite there yet.”
To which Mr. New Zealand said “Well why not? What’s the hold up?”
Mr. Fix-It and I both looked at each other and I took the lead from there. I looked Mr. New Zealand in the eye and said “I might be pregnant with another man’s child.”
Mr. Fix-It and I both wound up busting out laughing, and Mr. New Zealand simply laughed along. Obviously not recognizing the truth behind the statement.
As the night passed though, Mr. Fix-It got more and more drunk and I grew more and more tired. Around midnight we decided it was time to go home. We said our goodbyes and ran out into the cold.
It was on the drive home that I realized Mr. Fix-It and I would not be spending the night together. We were having fun, and he was still awake and coherent, but like I said earlier; drunk making out is only fun if you are both drunk.
And obviously, I was not.
He definitely pouted a little when we got to his house, but I think he got it. I was sober, he was not.
We were a little lopsided at the moment.
He kissed me goodbye though, and promised to call in the morning and let me know he was still alive.
And he did. We’ve been texting most of the day. I can tell you for sure; the boy is not feeling well at all. And it sounds like he’s sworn off alcohol for good.
Which works for me, because hopefully I’ll get news tomorrow morning that my drinking days are over too.
At least for the next 9 months.
This heartburn has continued, and as much as I am trying to keep myself from getting my hopes up (lest I be sorely disappointed in my own ability to gauge what my body is telling me again); I'm having a hard time not believing in the possibility of those two lines.
And as far as Mr. Fix-It is concerned?
I think at the very least I will be getting a very good friend out of this deal. At one point last night he looked at me and said “Did you ever think when you had that leak that it would turn into all of this?” And I had to smile, because I have thought the same thing so many times now.
It’s funny how sometimes, life just works.
