But I don’t think that was ever meant to apply to a pain free lifestyle.
Certain things that come easy for most people really are still worth having.
Children for instance. They come so easy to the vast majority of the population, and they are still totally worth having.
Relief should be on that list too. It should come easy. Being pain free and comfortable should come easy. It would still be valued, even if it was just a given.
After all, most people achieve that without even trying. I’m sure they don’t think it’s not worth having though. Despite how little effort they have to put into their own physical comfort, I’m sure they still value it.
Especially when that comfort is lost.
A broken bone. A bad flu. A bloody mistake while cutting an avocado.
We’ve all been there. One minute feeling good, and the next in agony. Just wishing to remember what it feels like to not be ill or in pain again. Longing to go back to a time of relief. Relief that seemed to come so easily only moments before.
When my doctor got me in first thing this morning, I think I got a little ahead of myself. I was so thankful they had found a way to squeeze me into their scheduled, that I determined this one visit would be all I would need. I think I convinced myself that we would come up with a plan of action and I would have relief by this afternoon.
I would win, and endo would lose. End of story.
I had forgotten that this disease doesn’t exactly work like that.
Dr. Lady Parts was concerned about that ribcage/shoulder pain I had told you guys about last week. She said it would be really rare for endo to travel that high. It happens, but it's rare.
She then acknowledged that I am good at being rare, and that she wouldn't be surprised if this was an endo issue for me (and a clear sign that things have spread to the point of needing to be addressed), but she first wants rule out anything more serious.
One thing she was pointing out as a possibility was an ulcer. And I'll admit it; after the last 6 months (and the fact that I have been grinding bad enough to break my own teeth) an ulcer doesn't sound totally crazy.
But I know that's not it.
The onset of this pain right when my period started just makes it very clear to me that this is endo related. I may not know much about why my body is behaving this way, but I would bet a bazillion dollars that this is endo.
Nothing more, and nothing less.
Still, I'm going to humor Dr. Lady Parts. If she needs to rule out other possibilities first, that's fine. Just so long as we can get back to the real business at hand soon.
Labs were done and orders were written for me to head on over to the hospital. To the radiology center.
Where the doctor taking the x-rays of my insides looked suspiciously like Edward Cullen.
Just for the record – this wasn't all that exciting in my mind. R. Pattz does nothing for me. I’ve never really been a fan of “pretty” men. But this doctor – thoroughly pretty. Pale skin. Big eyes. Tall. Lanky (OK, I’ll say it – skinny). Seriously, the spitting image of Edward Cullen.
And I spent the entire rest of my time there thinking about vampires working as doctors in hospitals.
Yes, this is what was on my mind when I should have been focused on beating endometriosis.
For the record, both my blood work and this x-ray came back perfect.
Just as I knew they would. Endometriosis wouldn't show up on those tests. They are simply being done to rule out anything else.
But Doctor Lady Parts still wants to run a few more tests. She’s sending me to a GI specialist.
For a colonoscopy.
Not. Excited. At. All.
If that comes back normal though, we'll acknowledge that this new pain is endometriosis and move forward from there.
Finally putting together a plan of attack.
I’ve been doing some research on alternative endometriosis treatments. After a conversation that started over at the community, I'm starting to lean towards trying Mirena. In doing my research, I have come across stories of women who have had amazing results from it, as well as horrific results.
Like every other endo treatment out there.
Because nothing can ever come easy and there is no shiny magic pill to cure endometriosis. What works for one woman may not work for the next 30. It truly is about trial and error.
I spoke to Dr. Lady Parts about it this morning, and she said it would be something she would be willing to try with me. Maybe even in conjunction with the pill, to keep any hint of a period at all at bay. She said for women who have never been pregnant before, putting it in is typically painful for a few days. But she said that after what I’ve been through; it wouldn’t be that big a deal.
And at this point, I really do want to try something new. I explained to her today that I just don’t think I could do Lupron again right now, and the beauty of Mirena is that the side effects involved are nothing compared to the Lupron side effects. I’ve even read about some women who haven’t had relief with anything at all, and then all of a sudden they’ve switched to Mirena and that’s been the magic bullet that takes the pain away.
There are no guarantees, and it's possible that it may not work for me. It's even possible it could make things worse.
But, at least this would be something new. Something I haven’t tried before. Something that could possibly hold some hope for relief.
And my doctor is willing to try it.
As soon as she cancels out the possibility of anything else destructive going on inside my stomach first that is.
Once we come to terms with the fact that the only thing wrong with me (the only thing that has ever been wrong with me) is an extreme case of endometriosis though, we’ll go from there. Possibly another surgery to clear everything out. Or possibly a little more waiting and seeing.
In the meantime, she wrote me a prescription for pain killers. And another for antacids and anti-nausea medication once I explained how sick anything pain-pill related was making me last week.
I had to laugh when she then gave me the addiction lecture. At this point, I have enough pain killers in my house to run my own small pharmacy. If I was going to become addicted, it would have happened a long time ago. In reality though, I never take anything for more than a day or two before deciding that I hate feeling so loopy.
I’m kind of straight laced like that.
But it’s a tide-me-over plan until we can decide what to do next.
Until we can find a way to get me some real relief.
Not exactly the hard and fast battle plan I had been hoping for this morning though.
Especially since I won’t even be finished with all this testing for at least 2 weeks.
Hello brick wall, nice to see you again.
(Courtesy of Google Images)
I have a bone to pick with endometriosis.
And I’m planning on getting in the ring fists a swinging.
But I have to get past this waiting part first.
Past this brick wall I’ve come to know so well.
And then?
Game on.
