Driving to my blood draw this morning, Journey came on the radio.
Don’t Stop Believing.
I couldn’t help but smile.
I had acupuncture immediately after. I haven’t seen Teeny in 2 weeks; since the week before I left for Seattle.
She started taking my pulses, and kept making funny faces. Finally, I asked her what was going on.
“Don’t get your hopes up” she said. “But your pulse feels different. Good different. Like your body is working extra hard.”
She paused.
“Like a pregnancy pulse.”
I saw her between my transfer and finding out last time, and she never said anything along those lines then. In fact, she said she has never noticed my pulse feeling like this.
And she said it was especially apparent on the right side.
I hadn’t yet told her that the right side was where I had felt what I hoped to be implantation.
I’m trying not to get my hopes up, but I can’t help it. They’re back up. Sky high in the air.
And I realized this morning as I drove to my Beta, that something was different this time.
Because last time, I already knew. I had been bleeding so badly, that I already knew beyond a shadow of a doubt it hadn’t worked as I drove to my blood test.
This time, there is no blood.
This time, I don’t know anything.
This time, there is hope.
They said I would know by 2 this afternoon.
It’s going to be a long 3 hours.
ADSPACE
