I was hesitant to believe it could make a difference at all, and even at times felt a bit silly to be paying money for someone to stick needles in me.
But, I was desperate. I had been on Lupron for quite a few months at that point, and the side effects were getting the best of me. While my endo pain had gone down, I still wasn’t feeling “healthy”. The Lupron just wore on me in a different way, but the truth is; I was tired of feeling crappy. I was willing to try anything at that point.
One of the promises I was made from the very beginning was that acupuncture likely wasn’t going to cure my endometriosis. I knew going in that a few needles in well thought out places weren’t going to make the damage that had already been done go away.
But I was banking on symptom control. On something non-drug related that could tone down the symptoms of the Lupron and help me to manage my pain when the time came for me to go off of it.
I didn’t have much hope that acupuncture would be the thing that would provide me with the relief I was seeking, but I was open to trying.
As the months passed though, and Teeny became more and more invested in my case, I started to find myself trusting in her more. Trusting in acupuncture more.
Believing that these needles could do what was originally offered; ease some of my symptoms without requiring I pump myself full of even more drugs.
I started to trust.
And it was that trust that led me to where I was yesterday.
Lying naked on a table with needles in my eyelids.
(Courtesy of Google Images)
Over the last year, we’ve tried a lot of freaky things in terms of acupuncture. Teeny has cupped me, burnt herbs out of my belly button, and had needles in the bottoms of my feet, the insides of my ears, and the fatty tissue of my backside.
Yes, I realize that’s a big area.
Through all of this, I have attempted to remain as open minded as possible. Taking deep breaths and trying to will myself through the more painful of these encounters with the reminder that a few seconds of pain is worth even the most minimal relief in the long run.
But because of those past experiences, I probably should have known to be afraid yesterday when Teeny announced “I want to try something different today. A point we’ve never done before.”
Based on all the places this woman has stuck needles in the past, I definitely should have been scared.
And when she said she wanted to stick needles in my eyelids, trust me; I was a bundle of nerves.
But, I took a deep breath and I closed my eyes as she maneuvered needles into the crook of my eyelids. And she stood there. The entire time. With her hands cupped over my face to ensure that if anything happened (i.e. if I had a major panic attack) she would be there to whip them out immediately.
I can’t say for sure one way or another whether or not those eye needles really did what they were intended to do, but I do know that both spots were bright red for a while afterwards. A sign that Teeny says is good because it means the needles were bringing heat to the surface.
And I know that I didn’t freak out or panic as I probably should have, considering needles were going in my eyelids.
So at the very least, I know that I am obtaining nerves of steel.
And hopefully kicking endo’s butt in the process.
