I have a feeling that I’m about to have an unpopular opinion. It won’t be the first time, and I’m sure it won’t be the last either. As always though; I encourage you to tell me what YOU think, even if it differs entirely from what I think.
I’ve been contemplating the regulations (or lack thereof) within the world of fertility treatments.
Yes, some of this spins off from my thoughts about Octomom and the fact that I truly believe her doctor holds much of the blame there. But a lot of it is also just stemming from the things I have learned while wading into this world myself.
IVF is not yet an established practice. It’s been around for 30 years, but in those 30 years; it really hasn’t come as far as many may have expected it to.
In the world of IVF, there is still no perfect combination of drugs. No set answers should it fail. No way to predict who it will and will not work for. No guarantees at all.
In fact, with the 50%-60% odds you’re dealing with when doing a fresh cycle, you might as well be flipping a coin.
Now tell me this: If someone told you that you could flip a penny and if it landed on tails you would get a baby, would you be willing to spend $15,000-$20,000 to flip that penny?
Of course not. But people face those odds every day with IVF. And they pay.
Hoping, praying, and believing that they will land on the right side of that penny.
Part of the problem as I see it is that there is very little collaboration within the industry. If you make a visit to 5 different RE’s, you are likely going to walk away with 5 different opinions and 5 different protocols to tackle your problem.
You may even experience a few of those RE’s tearing down the opinions you got from the others. Giving you a hundred reasons as to why that opinion is a joke and theirs is the one to go with. Hoping to charm you into trusting in them above all others.
RE’s are kind of like used car salesmen that way.
It’s just that they want to believe that their medicine is somehow the magic bullet to get you a baby, and you want to believe it too. But unless their success rates are drastically different than those of their neighboring RE’s (and we’re talking like 20% different here, not just a few percentage points); they’re rolling the same dice everyone else is. They’re just blowing on it a little differently.
Here’s the thing; I am not now, nor have I ever been, a fan of one size fits all treatments. I think that as human beings, we all vary in what we need to reach that desired outcome. I don’t think the world of infertility is any different. So I welcome different procedures and protocols. And because it is still such a new field that has yet to be perfected, I also welcome doctors trying new things. Seeking out that true magic bullet that can offer better odds than flipping a coin.
The problem I have is when that seeking happens at the patient’s expense.
Because most patients have no idea what’s going on when they’re interviewing RE’s. They end up with the one that’s located nearest their home, or the one who came recommended by a friend, or even the one who tells them what they want to hear; that they WILL take home a baby.
The problem with recommendations is that; people who get pregnant will likely highly recommend their RE’s office, and those that don’t will likely find fault with the clinic. Unfortunately, that means that those recommendations are all based on those odds. On the flip of the coin.
Nothing more, and nothing less.
And the problem with choosing an RE who says what you want to hear is that, for enough money; there is always at least one who will tell you what you want to hear.
The truth is that in the case of Octomom, if her doctor hadn’t done this for her; someone else would have. For enough money, someone would have taken that risk.
And for the record, I realize that this is coming off as awfully harsh towards RE’s. I don’t mean for it to. I actually have a great deal of respect for the practice and know that without this field, I would be at a loss right now.
I wouldn't even have those flip of a coin odds.
But I just wonder if something isn’t lost in the lack of regulations and protocols. If perhaps the patients aren’t losing in a field where there are very few real standards.
I had several people comment on the Octomom situation that they wouldn’t want regulations stepping in on things that should be between a doctor and patient, but think about it this way; if you became ill and your doctor prescribed far more than the recommended dose of some medication and something bad happened as a result of that, wouldn’t you expect there to be consequences?
If there's no recommended dose though; there's nothing stopping a doctor from going too far.
And then you have a patient simply along for the ride solely because they don't know any better. Just going along with what their doctor tells them, because all they care about is bringing a baby home. No matter what.
There should be standards for that reason. Standards involving the medications involved, standards involving how many embryos are transferred (standards which would of course vary based on age and embryo grading), and yes; even standards involving how far you really stand by and let a patient continue pushing forward.
Because is it really ethical to take money from a patient throughout multiple IVF rounds when nothing seems to be making those embryos stick?
Or to place 6 embryos into the uterus of a single woman who already has 6 children?
Or to push forward with this process at all with parents who seem less than mentally stable?
I realize that this is where it get’s touchy. I myself was beyond frustrated when I had to complete a mental health evaluation before moving forward. I know adoptive parents get overwhelmed and angry about the evaluations they have to subject themselves to as well. It seems unjust and unfair to be judged in this way when there are crack-whores getting pregnant every day without anyone’s permission at all.
But I’ll tell you what; about half-way through my mental health evaluation, I was actually glad I had been forced to do it. I found myself wishing that ALL parents had to go through this. It was refreshing to have someone asking me the questions I may not have thought through myself. Refreshing to have someone to talk to about all of this at all. Just… refreshing.
The only reason I had to do that evaluation though, was because I was using donor sperm. If I had been married, or had a known donor I was using; I wouldn’t have needed a psych evaluation at all.
I could be a drug addict. Or a woman who had previously had children taken away. Or someone who just plain and simple wasn’t all there mentally. They wouldn’t care though. As long as I had the money to pay, they would do what they could to make sure I took home a baby.
And while I realize that unfit parents bring children into this world the old fashioned way every day, there is still a part of me that cringes at the thought of fertility clinics not taking more responsibility for the lives they are helping to create.
In my perfect world, unfit parents wouldn’t be able to procreate at all. Plain and simple. You would have to pass a test to be a parent; a serious test that ensured you were ready for the responsibility.
Now, before I start getting hate mail, let me point out; I 150% recognize that there would be no way to enforce something like this without it starting to look like Nazi Germany. People’s personal prejudices would get in the way, human error would do its thing, and before you knew it; we would have put an end to diversity and individualism of all kinds in favor of blond haired, blue eyed, WASPS.
And THAT is not my idea of a perfect world.
It just really pains me that some people are able to bring children into this world with ease. Children they can’t care for, they don’t care about, and they shouldn’t have been blessed with from the beginning.
But I look at cases like Octomom and I swear, all I can think is that someone should have looked at that girl and said “I’m sorry, but you are clearly not mentally fit to understand the consequences of your actions here, and therefore I cannot treat you.”
If it makes any difference, I feel the exact same way about Heidi Montag and all her plastic surgery.
But, there are no regulations. No standards of practice. And no rules.
So right now, anyone with enough money can walk into a fertility clinic and walk out with a baby.
That is, if they choose the right clinic and manage to fall on the right side of the odds.
I’m not saying that the system needs a complete overhaul, or that it’s such a mess it can’t be fixed. I’ve just read so many blogs where women have been left tearing their hair out after hearing different things from every RE they’ve seen. I’ve watched too many times as they’ve set out on the impossible task of trying to determine which one they should put all their faith into.
And I look at a case like Octomom where one doctor clearly crossed ethical boundaries and I can’t help but wonder; how many others like him are out there?
How many unsuspecting patients end up making the wrong choice?
For the good of patients and their future children, I just think there need to be industry standards. And communication. Sharing of information rather than racing ahead hoping to make the next big breakthrough first.
And a willingness to sometimes step back and say “I’m sorry, but I can’t help you.”
If for no other reason than because, at the end of the day there is still a child at stake.
And parents who have become so driven to bring that child home, that they will believe anything they're told as long as someone promises them a baby at the end.
ADSPACE
