Wrapping my arms tightly around my chest. Biting my lip to keep my mouth shut.
Resisting the urge to shake strangers.
Because let’s be real; there aren’t very many circumstances where you could get away with that kind of behavior.
But today, I wanted to do it. I wanted to shake and yell and berate. I wanted to wake a woman up.
A woman I didn’t even know.
I was at the grocery store when it occurred. Minding my own business and picking up some Monistat. (Because yes, the baby making drugs have sadly put my whole body out of whack - including my cootchie-coo. Some days I actually don't hate that there's no husband around to witness this hot mess I've become.) Suddenly, I noticed the most adorable little boy just chatting away in a cart.
He must have been about 3. Blond. Sweet. Angelic.
Just a little guy, but with a pretty hefty vocabulary.
And he was just cracking himself up.
Sitting in that cart talking away. Rattling off questions and telling his mother all about everything they passed in the store.
(Courtesy of Google Images)
His mother who was ignoring him. Ignoring every single word. Doing her best to not pay attention at all. Succeeding in appearing painfully annoyed.
And I wanted to shake her. Here was this woman with a perfect, healthy, adorable son in her cart, and she was annoyed by him. Annoyed to the extent that to anyone walking by it was obvious she was wishing he hadn’t been there at all.
Probably wishing she could just get a break from him.
Now, it is here that I want to point out that I’m not judging this mother. I get that every day of parenting isn’t sunshine and roses. I’m not naïve enough to believe that it will always be easy, or that you will always be content in your child’s company.
I know that there are bad days. Days when you just need a break. Days when it all just seems to be a bit too much.
But… She didn't appear to be in a rush and she wasn't on her phone. There was no one else there demanding her time. No clear reason she should have appeared so opposed to acknowledging her son.
And here was a child who was polite and kind and funny. He wasn’t interrupting his mother, or being too loud, or asking for anything at all beyond her attention. He just wanted her to interact with him, and he was very obviously trying to make her smile as well.
Something which she just couldn’t give him. Not even one teeny tiny smile. She didn’t have it to spare for this little boy.
My heart broke. I wanted to tell this boy how smart he seemed, how funny he was, and how good he was being while stuck in a cart being wheeled through the grocery store. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and tell him how special he was.
I wanted to shake his mother.
But instead, I bit my lip and walked on by. Trying to remind myself that this snippet of their lives I was seeing didn’t necessarily reflect what the dynamics actually were. That I had no idea what had happened prior to spotting them in the store, or what this woman was going through in her personal life.
For all I know, she’s an incredible mother who was simply having a bad day.
A woman who certainly did not need me saying the words I so desperately wanted to say.
So instead of saying them to her, I’m going to say them to you right now.
For those of you who have children.
For those of you who may have had a bad day.
For those of you who might some days forget how lucky you really are.
Love those babies of yours. Wrap them up in your arms and tell them what they mean to you. Listen to them. Laugh with them. Praise them when they’re good. Clean up the skinned knees, and discipline when they’re bad to be sure, but don’t forget to love them too. To love them always. To give them the attention they need. The attention they deserve. Each and every day.
Even on the bad ones.
Give those children of yours big kisses tonight, and tell them how wanted and adored they are.
Do it for me.
For women like me.
For anyone who has ever wanted a child so desperately it hurts.
Because you were one of the lucky ones.
And when I see you being a crappy parent; I have to resist the urge to shake you.
Or the urge to kidnap your child.
Since both of those things could probably land me in a bit of hot water, how about you do us both a favor?
Remind your children how much you love them.
Do it for me.
Until I can do the same for my own.
