It was a morning just like any other morning.
One where I was running late, and throwing clothes on at pretty much the same exact time I should have been walking out the door.
When suddenly, the doorbell rang.
And I knew. I simply knew.
It was the plumber.
The same plumber who was supposed to have called me by the close of business yesterday.
And didn’t.
The same plumber who then was supposed to call me this morning to set up an appointment.
And clearly didn’t.
He was standing at my doorstep. Unannounced. And I was barely dressed.
I answered the door still pulling a shirt over my head (no worries, I wasn’t naked! I had on a tank top, it was just a tank top that didn’t cover up a whole lot!) and new roomy sat on the couch staring at me in awe and already thinking I may be a bit of a freak.
It happens.
And there was my plumber. My unannounced plumber. The plumber who wanted me to show him around so he could assess the damage at precisely 9am. When I’m supposed to be at work. And when I hadn’t had a chance to call in, because I had no idea that the plumber was just going to show up like this.
Alas, I showed him around. Knowing I needed to get this done.
As I showed him to the mold though, my first words were “I’m trying to get pregnant.”
Sigh. I was flustered, and thrown off by his timing, and really… I am trying to get pregnant. I wanted to know if this mold was going to be a uterus killer.
But I probably could have gone about making that point a little more eloquently.
Heck, it would have been better if I had just told him that I actually was pregnant.
Because as it stood; he looked at me as if I had just propositioned him. I could see the mini-porn running through his head. This is every plumbers dream come true, right? He shows up to fix the pipes, and then winds up fixing the pipes?
So yes, I had to backtrack and explain my fear about the mold after my declaration of an impending pregnancy, when in reality that explanation probably should have come first.
The whole time my roommate sat on the couch; shocked into silence and staring as though this was the most interesting exchange she had ever seen take place.
I showed him the kitchen, I showed him downstairs, and then I showed him my bedroom.
Because there's now an area in the ceiling I’m not so sure of.
Of course, I’m sure this played into his proposition fantasy even more.
Perve.
(Said totally tongue in cheek, because I realize that I am the one who propositioned him; which really just makes me a socially awkward freak and him a seemingly nice enough guy stuck dealing with the socially awkward freak.)
He informed me that he would have to ask the tenant upstairs to let him in this morning; because he needed to assess if the damage was actually originating there first, before he started pulling out my walls.
He then asked me for a key to my house.
And I’m sorry, but there is no way I was giving this plumber/baby daddy hopeful a key to my house.
So, I told him I would work from home today and he could have access to the house as much as he needed.
That was of course at 9 o’clock this morning. I ran to work to pick up my lap top and run my plan by my incredibly understanding boss, and then I came home and sat down on the couch and waited.
And waited.
And waited.
Plumber boy didn’t resurface again until 4. By that point I had already called the company, wondering what had happened and why he had never returned. According to them, there was just a lot of miscommunication. But, they told him I tattled on him and so his first words when he did reappear were "My boss called to tell me you were upset with me?"
And yes, I felt like a jerk.
But, I took an entire day out of the office for almost no reason at all. And there is STILL no resolution to my pipes situation.
He's going to work on cleaning the mold out of the storage room this afternoon, and said he would be able to start working on the pipes tomorrow. Which means that tomorrow, I may also be working from home. Something which I honestly always feel guilty doing, even though I really can do 90% of what I do there from here.
As he walked away this morning (after my refusal to give him a key, and before his 7 hour long absence) he shouted out over his shoulder “OK then, I’ll be back. And hey – good luck with the baby making!”
I walked back into the house hanging my head in shame, and new roommate burst into laughter.
I have officially solidified myself into the position of the most awkward person both she, and my plumber, have ever met.
And seeing as I start this cycle off with my first shot this evening.
It should only get more fun from here.
ADSPACE
