As I finalized all the details this afternoon, it hit me: I am going to try to get pregnant in 7 weeks.
I’m starting injections in just under two.
I am doing this.
Again.
And I’m not as scared as I would have thought I would be. In fact, I think I’m feeling a little twinge of excitement.
A ray of hope.
A smidgeon of a belief that this could work.
And that in 2 months, I could be looking down at two lines of my very own.
Part of this excitement comes simply from making the arrangements. And the fact that I have vowed to do as much differently this cycle from last as possible.
Because there's a chance I might be exhibiting some over the top superstitious behavior.
I booked a hotel almost 40 minutes away from the clinic. I didn’t want to stay at the same hotel I did last time, and I didn’t love any of the other options (or prices) in the area.
It won’t be a huge deal since I only need to go to the clinic the one day this time, and I know I’ll feel better staying somewhere else.
Somewhere that doesn’t have the bad juju failed cycle vibes.
I’m also going to put myself on bed rest for 48 hours following this transfer. Technically I could leave as soon as it was over. Technically I should only be paying for one night in a hotel and 1 day of a rental car.
After all; I got on a plane to go home immediately after my transfer last time. I had been assured by my doctor that it was no big deal. That the embryo was either going to implant or it wasn’t, but staying in bed wouldn’t affect the outcome.
And my doctor was probably right, but I don’t care. This time; I am staying in bed with my feet in the air pleading with those embryos of mine to stick around for as long as it takes.
I also scheduled acupuncture the day of – for both before and after the actual transfer. I knew this was available the first time around, but I felt weird scheduling a treatment for something so personal with someone I had never met.
Someone who wasn’t Teeny.
But this time, I don’t care. I want to do everything I can possibly do to get these embryos to stay put, and from what I’ve read; acupuncture the day of can increase your possibility of implantation by 40%.
My insurance won’t be covering that treatment at all (of course), but I will make it work. Believing that the extra piece of mind (knowing that I’ve done everything within my power to succeed) will be worth it in the end.
And with all the details in place, I really am starting to feel that twinge of excitement again.
My drugs are ordered, my plane ticket, hotel, and car booked, and now I just have to wait.
Trusting that I am doing everything I possibly can to ensure this next round will work.
Allowing that little twinge of excitement to sneak past the wall I’ve been protecting myself with the last few months.
Believing that good things really do come to those who wait.
And that on November 11th, I will be getting knocked up.
For realz this time.
ADSPACE
