Everyone keeps asking me if I’m having any symptoms.
My dad. My friends. Teeny. All of you.
Everyone wants to know if I’ve had any signs or clues that this cycle just may have worked.
And you know what?
Yes, my boobs are sore.
They are. I promise. And they have been for a few days.
Of course, that could be because I poke at them every 20 minutes or so just to check to see if they’re sore. There has admittedly been a lot of booby prodding on my part, but I’m telling you… they’re sore.
They are nowhere near as sore as what some of my friends have described when they’ve been pregnant though. I’ve heard friends complain about grueling pain in their breasts, but my discomfort is pretty localized to my nipples and it’s really only all that noticeable when I’m poking around at them.
So, I can only tell they're sore when I start prodding them to seek out soreness.
Which means that it could just as easily be from those cootchie suppositories of progesterone goodness I'm having to submit myself to as it could be from a pregnancy.
But, I’m also exhausted. I have seriously struggled to wake up every day this week, and I have been dragging at work; doing whatever it is I can to just get through the day and get home to my bed. Then once I’m home, I’ve actually been passing out at a decent hour. Every night. Which is so not like me. I am a second wind at 10 pm kind of girl, but not this week... this week, I have been sleeping. As much as possible.
You want to know what else? I seriously cannot control my temperature. One minute I’m cold and pulling on a sweater, and the next I'm sweating and stepping outside for fresh air because I feel like I’m going to suffocate.
There is no regulation. No comfortable. No normal. No matter what I try to get to feeling "right" temperature wise, it has backfired 15 minutes later.
The weirdest thing of all though? There is this… pressure/tingling/fullness (heck, let's just call it a straight up weird feeling) in my stomach. I can’t explain it any better than that. It is just this feeling, and that feeling has me thinking that something must be going on in there.
Something huge. Something amazing. Something incredible.
You see, I really think I'm pregnant.
Even after the negative this morning, I still felt like I was pregnant.
Even when I woke up and noticed that the picture of my perfect little embie had fallen off the wall and was face down on the ground (which I couldn’t help but acknowledge as a bad sign – because I am totally crazy like that)... still, I felt like I was pregnant.
Like this round of IVF worked and there is a new life forming and flourishing inside of me as we speak.
Like nothing else that happened could possibly change that fact.
Of course, this is all just speculation until I actually get a positive; but I still feel like I’m pregnant. Deep down in my gut, I feel it.
No matter how early it is, or how irrational it may be to think that my body could be reacting to a pregnancy this soon, I think I’m pregnant. And I think my body is giving me signs.
So, either I’m actually pregnant, or I’m suffering from a hysterical pregnancy like the crazy lady on Glee and my body is having a psychosomatic reaction to my complete and utter belief that it's pregnant.
In which case, I’m going to need to find a faux baby belly and a knocked up teenager STAT.
Because one way or another, I am getting a baby out of this deal.
ADSPACE
