In The Butt

I just got the call.

It’s on like Donkey Kong.

I am taking my last shot tonight, and then my egg retrieval is going to be on Monday morning.

There is just one problem: This shot is in the butt.

Now, I am a pro at sticking myself in the fatty bomb batty tissue surrounding my gut, but getting the needle into the muscle in my backside is an entirely different story.

I’m actually scared.

Remember how I used to tense up when I got my Lupron shot back there?

Well, someone please try to explain to me how this is going to be any better.

I’ve been practicing. Yes, it’s true. I have put a chair in front of the mirror in my hotel room and I have gone all backwards cowgirl on it while I’ve tried to figure out how I will actually plunge this needle into the not so willing skin back there.

I’ve come to the conclusion that this isn’t going to be easy.

And also, that I will not be vlogging this shot.

This is it though. At 7:15 tonight I will be giving myself this HCG shot, and then at 7:15 Monday morning I will be having my egg retrieval.

I actually made it to this point.

And you want to know something else?

There were 10 eggs on this morning’s ultrasound. I still can’t figure out why there has been so much variation from ultrasound to ultrasound, but I’m hoping that if they were able to count 10 this morning, that there will actually be 10 to retrieve.

I’m flying on a wing and a prayer with that one, but wouldn’t it be nice?

10 eggs. With 50/50 odds that would mean that 5 would fertilize. Going 50/50 again, that would mean I could hope for 2 or 3 babies out of that batch.

And all I really need is one.

I do know that I don’t think I will ever do a retrieval again (my poor little right ovary has barely been able to keep up with this round), so having some hopefuls to freeze away would be pretty incredible at this point.

You know. Just in case I decided I was up for another implantation at some point in the future.

Some little babies on ice.

All I really need now is one good one though. Everything else would just be a bonus.

Now, if you’ll excuse me…

I have less than 4 hours to build up the courage to stick a big needle in my own tuckus.

I don't remember learning about this part in health class.