A funny thing happened last night.
I was out to dinner with one of my favorite girls to celebrate her birthday, when 2 women walked in with a baby.
I was of course, immediately mesmerized.
My eyes followed that child from the moment I spied him until the second they were seated behind us.
Even when I caught a glimpse of the mother watching me watch them, I couldn’t stop myself. I couldn’t help it. This little one was just too edible for words and I couldn't take my eyes off of him.
Let’s just say that I was thankful when they were seated behind me, because the temptation to stare at them for the rest of the evening was greatly reduced.
Although, I did sneak a glance once or twice.
This is what I do people. I have the baby fever. It isn’t healthy, but I am obsessed with other people’s babies. It is very obvious, and I would be willing to bet that it might just freak some people out.
Which is why I got painfully uncomfortable when the birthday girl told me that the women who had just been seated kept looking over at us.
“It’s probably because they think I want to kidnap their child.” I told her.
To which she replied “Well, don’t you?”
Yes, the little girl knows me well. It's possible I may be just a few steps shy of being a full on baby snatcher.
What can I say? I am a woman on a mission and when I see someone who has the prize I so desire, my ovaries start to ache.
For the record: I have yet to ever actually steal any babies.
From that point forward though, I really tried to temper myself. No more quick glances back.
Must. Not. Look. At. Baby.
When the perfect infant’s mother was coming back from the bathroom and looking like she wanted to say something to me, my stomach started to do flip flops.
Great. Now I’m going to have to explain to this woman who thinks I want to snatch her child that I am more or less harmless; that I just happen to be a crazy infertile woman who salivates at the sight of babies.
I would never actually kidnap a child though.
(yes I would).
No I wouldn’t.
(yes I would).
No. Really. I wouldn’t. I swear.
My palms started sweating and I realized I had officially become a woman who other people aren't exactly comfortable having around their children. And now I was going to have to explain myself to a stranger who was concerned for her own child’s welfare.
Without coming off like a complete lunatic.
I was all ready to blurt out something awkward and inappropriate, when the woman hesitantly said my name.
And I was stunned into silence.
Is my photo displayed somewhere on some potential kidnappers website?
She repeated my name again, and then said “It’s Kassandra.”
Still dazed and confused, I tried to decipher where I knew this woman from. I’ve only been in Alaska 2 years. Not long enough to have long lost friends that I haven’t seen in so long I don’t recognize them. And I have issues with names and faces sometimes, but if I had met this girl before I’m sure I would have recognized her.
Or at least, I’m sure I would have recognized her child.
Suddenly it hit me though. Kassandra. From KassandraRyan.
I love this girl! She and I have exchanged quite a few e-mails and Tweets over the last few months. She lives in Fairbanks, so about 6 hours from where I am in Anchorage. Meaning that the chances of us running into each other when she happened to be in town were pretty remote.
And the chances of my recognizing her were nonexistent. At least, not while she had a child on her hip to draw my attention away.
Last night, for the first time, I was recognized in public from my blog.
And from that point forward, I was completely socially awkward.
I think at first I was just stunned. Then, as Kassandra thrust her perfect little progeny into my arms, I was unable to focus on anything else.
I’m telling you: babies are my kryptonite. You want to shut me up and get me to sit still, put a little piece of perfection in my arms. After that, all else is lost.
We chatted for a minute, but unfortunately we had already been on our way out so we didn’t get to visit for too long.
Still, it was a surreal experience.
One that kind of made my night, because I got to hold a baby.
And I got to meet Kassandra too of course.
I don’t think there are too many people here in Alaska reading along, but let this be a lesson to you all just in case: Should you happen to recognize me out in public while you are with a child, you may want to pawn that child off on someone else. Because, if you approach me with a baby, I will become completely useless to you. My sole attention will be so focused on your munchkin that I clearly won’t even take the time to really look at your face.
If you want a socially awkward scene with a blogger who doesn’t know how to behave in public though, I’m your girl.
Seriously Kassandra, it was great to meet you. And I’m sorry I was so caught off guard. I was totally sure you were about to yell at me for eye stalking your child.
Because, you know, that’s exactly what I was doing.
ADSPACE
