That is the thought that hit me yesterday.
Like Deana Carters “Did I Shave My Legs For This?”, the realization that I had done something I really didn’t want to do in order to get an expected result (only to get the exact opposite of that expected result), hit me like a ton of bricks.
It was during an angry moment, and I may have sent a few profanity laden text messages to those nearest and dearest to me in order to let them know how not pleased I was that I had given up 13 years of being a vegetarian, for this!
My dad’s response was “You must be feeling better. You’re being ornery.”
I say it’s not being ornery though, it’s being realistic. I paid the piper, where’s my reward?
I do not like meat. I gave it up with ease at the age of 13, and never once looked back. Never once that is, until I started doing research and listening to doctors and realizing that some meat in my system would probably be best when it comes to supporting a baby.
So, I ate it. I choked down Tuna, and Salmon, and Halibut (none of which I enjoyed in the least) and I managed to find ways to cook Chicken so that I didn’t hate it. I tried bites of steak (too chewy), and sausage (too gamey), and I actually ate my first hot dog (what exactly is a hot dog?)
I even found myself admitting to liking sushi when I was in Seattle. Turns out I can handle raw seafood, but not so much cooked seafood.
I really didn’t see that one coming, but I was proud of myself for branching out and trying new things. Proud of myself for being willing to admit that I had found at least one meat source that I actually kind of liked (and no, I did not consume any sushi after my transfer – this was all pre-transfer grubbing.)
But yesterday, as I realized that I had made a huge dietary change that I wasn’t exactly behind all because it was best for baby (a baby that didn’t come), I was ticked.
Overall, eating meat hasn’t been an easy adjustment for me. I liked my life as a vegetarian just fine, but it was worth the sacrifice if it was what was best for baby.
But now that there is no baby?
I cannot believe I ate meat for this.
ADSPACE
