Dear Fluffy Slimy Warm Little Uterus,
I hope you're making that new little addition ridiculously comfortable in there. I have big expectations for you right now, but I know you won’t let me down. Just whatever you do; do not let that embie go. You are to hold on to that that little guy for dear life, do you hear me? Under no circumstances can you drop the ball here my dear dear ute. You need to keep your head in the game and score one for the team.
And before you ask, I realize that you are wondering right now what’s in it for you. You and I have had a rough run of it this last year and a half. It really all started with you deciding to let your cells escape and implant all over the place. I’m trying really hard not to blame you for this whole endometriosis business, but really?!? Why are pieces of you all over my insides?!? You slutty slutty organ! Don’t you know what happens when you spread your seed like there’s no tomorrow? Crippling, doubled over pain is what happens! That, and you really screwed over your closest neighbors. Those ovaries just aren’t the same girls they used to be. They’ve seen too much; been exposed too deeply. And it’s basically because they got soaked in your excrement. They are literally covered in ute flesh. What exactly did you do to them?
Never mind. I don’t want to know.
But, I do not blame you. Trust me my little ute, I recognize that I may have played a part in this whole situation myself. I’m still not completely convinced that the hormones involved in my egg donations didn’t just set you off and lead to the current mess. I’m sure you were plenty pissed going through those cycles and thinking you were about to get a new companion, just to find out those little embies you were preparing yourself for were going off into some other ute you’ve never even met. I understand you may have been a little upset over the whole ordeal, and that now you are having a hard time forgiving me. But please remember my love, those embies went off to a warm and loving home somewhere else. There are 2 perfect babies in this world because of the minor discomfort you went through. I understand now that you must have been disappointed, but really; there was no reason to go on the attack. We could have worked it out you know. I would have listened to your feelings. I would have told you all about the family you helped. I would have praised you and loved you and reminded you that your time would come soon. I just never knew how upset you were... Until it was too late and you had slimed even my kidneys.
But none of that matters anymore. The past is the past and it’s time we both move on. I’m sorry I hurt your feelings by bypassing you way back then my dear ute, and I hope you will forgive me just like I forgive you for slutting yourself out to all my other organs. Now is the time to move forward and focus on the future, and this future is bright my lovely ute. It is bright, because you are holding on to it right now as we speak. Don’t you see the special gift you’ve been given? That is a little life tucked away inside of you right now, and it is yours to nurture and protect and grow for the next 9 months.
This time it really is your turn little ute, and all you have to do is hold on. Those hormones I was fluffing you up with this last month weren’t a massive fake-out as they were in the past. This is the real deal, and you have a chance to fully prove your worth. You get to be the star player; the one who outshines all the other members of the show. Right now my ute, you are the favorite organ.
Even if you are a little bit whorey.
So hold on tightly please my lovely ute. This is the chance for both of our dreams to come true, and I know you can do it. You are strong and beautiful and perfect, and I know you will make an excellent home for this baby of ours. This baby that I know you already love as much as I do. All you have to do is hold on ute. Tuck that embie away tightly inside your slimy folds and don’t let it escape. Hold on and give it room to grow and thrive.
And maybe, if you get a chance, start kicking up the hormone production so that I can get a pee stick to tell me that you’re still on board with the plan sooner rather than later.
I mean, I know you are, but a little reassurance wouldn’t suck right now.
You and me ute, we’re on the same team now. So let’s stop fighting each other and work together on this one, because it really is win-win.
You get your chance to outshine all the organs you’ve slimed.
And I get a chance to be a mom.
What do you say?
ADSPACE
