I had my “real” appointment yesterday morning. The one that actually involved the treatments I needed.
Sans the gratuitous breast exam.
I was all kinds of nervous before I left. I couldn’t really explain why, as I had been filled with hope and confidence just the night before; but I was nervous.
I think part of the issue was that I have had no symptoms since this cycle began. There have been no headaches, no nausea, and no exhaustion.
In fact, I have felt pretty darn good.
With both of my donations I felt different within 24 hours of my first shots. I handled the hormones well, but I knew immediately that my body was changing.
With this cycle, 5 days in I still felt “normal”.
And that had me nervous.
As soon as the vagisound began though, relief washed over me. I could see my own follicles immediately, and I knew that was a good thing.
I felt confident again; sure that everything was still going according to plan.
Proud of those 11 juicy eggs that were growing inside of me; my little potential babies to be.
I was giddy and excited again.
Then last night (as I was preparing to leave for the wedding) I got a call that rocked the boat a bit.
My estrogens are still extremely low. 64 in fact. She said the number more than once.
Those levels are supposed to be in the hundreds.
At least.
So now, everything is at a stand still. Where I should have started a new round of meds last night, I am in a holding pattern. Taking the same drugs and hoping those estrogens will rise and those perfect follicles I saw will actually mature into something I can use.
Praying with everything I’ve got.
And waiting. My favorite thing in the world.
My next blood work appointment won’t be until Day 8 of the cycle, which is Tuesday.
Until then, I wait. I ride on the hope that I am simply responding slowly, and that my ovaries will kick into gear and start releasing that estrogen soon.
And I don’t think about what happens if they don’t.
ADSPACE
