I was doing my nightly blog reading Sunday night when I noticed there may have been a trend going on.
A trend I wasn’t privy to until after the fact.
A trend I probably should have been a part of.
It turns out that this weekend was Father’s Day.
No, I’m not a total idiot. I did call my dad on Sunday, and I put a card in the mail early last week. I do have to admit that I completely spaced on his birthday this year (and it just so happened to be the same weekend he told me he was getting a divorce) so you can imagine I felt like daughter of the year at that moment. Which is why I absolutely did not forget Father's Day.
But maybe I missed the memo about all the dad love meant for blogs too!
I guess I was just too busy writing about pissing myself Saturday night.
So here I am; a day late and a dollar short.
Scratch that. I'm two days late, but only because yesterday I had that exciting free med news to write about. And yes, I let free meds trump my dad love post.
Sue me.
But I feel it’s necessary to say something, because I do have a pretty amazing dad and I did not mean to ignore him on the day for honoring fathers here on the old blog.
So, why is my dad so amazing?
Well for one – he reads this blog. Regularly.
I’m not kidding.
He’s always been pretty good like that though. My mother checked out of my life at an age when most girls need their mothers the most, and my dad stepped in as best he could. I never did learn some of the essentials to being a girl (for instance, I’m pretty sure nail painting is a skill that is lost on me), but my dad was the one who talked me through my first period and kept the door open for sex conversations as well. Don’t get me wrong; I don’t think he ever enjoyed any of that. In fact, I can pretty much guarantee it all made him painfully uncomfortable. But he wanted to make sure I had someone to talk to, so he became that someone.
I even have to give credit where credit is due: when he found out I was no longer pure mere weeks after I lost my virginity, he didn’t even yell once. He maintained his cool and made sure I knew how to be safe and understood that I could go to him if I ever got in trouble.
Then I'm pretty sure he walked away and hit a wall - but not in my line of sight.
What a guy, right?!?
Seriously though, my dad has been one of my biggest sources of support in this life. He has actually amazed me with his ability to understand how I’m feeling and what I need to hear in the face of this struggle with endometriosis and infertility. Even some of my best girl friends haven’t been able to relate to me as well as my dad has. He is still the first person I call as I leave doctor’s appointments, and he has become my most trusted advisor when it comes to making all these decisions I never thought I would have to make.
I don’t think any father envisions single motherhood for their daughters, but when I was faced with the decision of now or never my dad knew what I would choose months before I actually chose; and he was rooting for that option all along. He has never questioned my ability to do this, or the fact that I am meant to be a mother; no matter what it takes. When my world crashed around me as I discovered the Lupron wasn’t really effectively suppressing my endo, my dad’s response to an expedited time frame was “Great. I’m ready to be a grandpa.”
And he really will be the most amazing grandpa. You have never seen a man so great around kids in your life. He will scoop those babies of mine up and never let them go; I guarantee it. Regardless of what happens in my love life, my children will never want for a good male role model. Everything they need to learn they will get right from my dad.
So here’s to you pops – for putting up with a lifetime of my over sharing and what now seems like far too long a time period dealing with my hormonal mood shifts (thought my teenage years would be the end of it, didn't you?!?) Thank you for still loving me throughout and beyond my crazy angst filled years, and for helping me get through this last year without completely losing it. I’m honestly not sure what would have happened to me without you in my life.
And it’s totally OK to admit I’m your favorite child… baby brother knows it already anyway!
I love you old man.
And I can’t wait for you to be a grandpa too.
