I'm starting to realize that men view my situation very differently than I do, and that many of them would just rather not know the details.
I was talking to The Devirginator yesterday, and he asked me how my dating life’s been going.
I literally shrugged through the phone as I explained that dating isn't exactly easy with baby making plans just around the corner; what guy wants to date a girl about to get knocked up with donor sperm?
"You don't tell them that, do you?!?" He shrieked through the phone.
The man actually shrieked. As though I had just told him the most horrific thing he had ever heard.
I explained that these things just kind of come up. This is my life now, and it's a little hard to hide my future plans. For instance, just last week at the grocery store a clerk was following me around like a sick puppy dog. When he finally asked if I needed help finding anything, I asked where the prenatals were. It wasn’t an intentional brush off, but they were the last thing on my list. I honestly didn't even think about it until I said it.
He pointed me in the right direction and and then proceeded to bolt.
I am learning that impending baby making acts as man repellant.
"No wonder you're not dating!” He again shrieked. “You've lost your mind. You can't tell guys these things. You have to trick them into falling for you first!"
His solution?
"Start dating a guy, and don't tell him a thing. Say you're going on a business trip to Seattle, and then when you come back knocked up just say 'Surprise! I'm pregnant!' Maybe you'll get lucky and the poor schmuck will think the baby is his."
I'm pretty sure he just tried to convince me to trap one of his own kind.
I am fascinated by the minds of men.
ADSPACE
