I spent the day on Period Watch: 2010.
It was pretty intense. Every time I went to the bathroom, I left slightly defeated to realize that I was still only spotting. And I was barely doing that.
Forget the fact that I wasn’t having any cramps so I should have known better before I even got there.
I was still holding out hope.
When I got to Teeny this afternoon, she practically glowed when I told her I was spotting though. She asked me to tell her if I've had any period symptoms in the last few days.
Well… I have been starving. Like disturbingly so.
I am not proud to admit that I ate 4 slices of pizza at a work event yesterday. For lunch.
The other night, it’s possible I popped in a yoga DVD only to sit back and watch it as I devoured a gigantic piece of fudge.
And last night I may have had ice cream for dinner. Skinny cow ice cream, but still ice cream.
I swear I do not usually crave sweets the way I have been.
But being that I haven’t had a period in quite some time, I wasn’t really putting two and two together on any of that. I just thought I was on a one-track mission to get fat.
And I couldn’t even be mad at myself, because on top of all that; I’ve been exhausted.
Yes. Teeny was radiating at all this news. She is convinced Aunt Flo is trying to break through. When I told her I cramped for about 24 hours after our last session, she said that had been the entire point. Then she said “let’s do it again.”
So here I sit; cramping mildly and wondering if Teeny has the power to ignite my period.
Scratch that. I’m not wondering for a second. I believe deep down inside of me that if anyone can get this bad boy started up without another onslaught of hormones, Teeny can.
That is right. I am a full fledged believer in acupuncture, and in Teeny. I have been completely sold on this process after seeing everything she has been able to do for me.
I'm sorry, but how weird is it that a few properly placed needles can even get me cramping in the first place? That is pretty crazy when you think about it! If she can do that, why couldn't she get my period going naturally?
Let’s not forget that I had horribly off track periods even before the Lupron. I went 3 months without bleeding at one point; all on my own. Dr. RE told me that when women come off Lupron there is no telling when their bodies may get back to bleeding on their own again, which is why they wanted to induce my period sooner than later. Why wait? It’s not going to start on its own anyways.
Or will it?
If my period does start on its own before next Tuesday, I really and truly believe it will be nothing short of a miracle. A miracle of needles.
And I will have Teeny to thank.
When we were in the middle of our session today, she said "Wouldn't it be great if you got your period and it was just normal? No bad cramps at all?"
I didn't tell her this, but if that happens I may try to figure out how to get Teeny to marry me. I think we could figure out a way to make it work.
As I sit here (cramping, spotting, and trying to convince myself to make something healthy for dinner) I am remembering that there are a few male readers out there (my dad being one of them) and I’m realizing that I have now officially written about my period 3 times in the matter of just a few days.
A period that has yet to even begin.
Poor boys. How unfortunate for you to have to follow along with Period Watch: 2010! To you I have to say only this:
Suck it up! Let’s not forget why we’re here boys. If you think period talk is rough to read, just wait until we get to the mucus plug portion of this journey.
Keep your eye on the prize! This is what we’re here for!
So I want every last one of you testosterone filled men hoping for my period as if I was your high school girlfriend who you just lost your V-card to. (NOT you Dad... That's just gross.)
You got that?
Good. Now let the games begin!
ADSPACE
