Endo is painful.
Have I never told you all that before?
I’ve gotten spoiled the last 6 months. As rough as Lupron is as a drug, the one thing I can give it credit for is that it kept my pain at bay. It may have made my hair fall out and my meals randomly come back up, but it kept me from being in pain. The last 6 months I have only had a few uncomfortable days, but never any real pain.
That has changed this week, and I am in the midst of what I can only imagine to be a serious endo flare up.
I woke up Thursday morning to my lower back aching and it hasn’t gotten any better. No matter how much ibuprofen I have popped, the pain will not go away. I can’t sit right, sleep right, or walk right. My lower back is just in spasms.
The last two times I have been near surgery, the pain has been predominately in my lower back. This is partially because new cysts push everything out of whack, and also partially because I have some endo tissue on nerve endings. It is all just a set up for pressure right above my bum.
I had told myself I was going to wait the weekend out before going to the doctor, but yesterday I lost my will. When the pain is that powerful and unrelenting, it is difficult to let cooler heads prevail.
I have a hard time pretending like I am OK when there is no relief.
So, they got me into the doctor’s office, but my regular OBGYN was out of town. I had a full exam that resulted in “Yep. I think your endo is flaring up.” She did write me a prescription for Tramadol to get me through the weekend, which I was promised wasn’t quite as narcotic-y as the Percocet’s I currently have on hand. I hate being out of it and so I had really been hesitating to take the good stuff, even though Ibuprofen was doing nothing.
I took the Tramadol. It knocked me on my butt. It may not be as narcotic-y as Percocet, but I still wouldn’t want to do anything too serious on that drug. I swear I didn’t start to feel clear headed again until this afternoon.
I had forgotten how much I hate having to choose between being in pain, and being coherent.
We’re going to wait a week to see if the pain goes away and then re-evaluated. Right now it could just be all the hormones shifting as the Lupron works its way out of my system that is causing the flare up.
Or it could be that dreaded period I have to endure before IVF dates can be set that is getting ready to make its appearance.
Whatever it is, it hurts. And I am cranky. I was a complete brat to my dad today because I was in pain. I actually had to call the poor man to apologize for being such a Debbie Downer.
I hate being in pain. I especially hate being in pain when it feels like nothing I do provides any relief. I like to pretend that I’m tough, but endo knocks me down every time. Some days I feel like no matter how tough I am, I will never be more tough than endo.
I have a high pain tolerance, but not high enough that I can skimp out on the good drugs right now.
Which should make for a really special interview tomorrow.
Here’s to hoping I can get through the pain, without the drugs. At least for a few hours.
If not, it could make for an entertaining segment.
ADSPACE
