Almost two months ago I got an e-mail from one of you with a link to the trailer for The Back-up Plan. The e-mail said “Hollywood owes you a check!” I knew instantly that I had to see this movie!
Over the next few months, several people got in touch with me to make sure I had seen the previews. Everyone likes a happy ending, and I think most of you like the idea of me ending up with a fabulous man and a baby at the end of this.
And for that – I thank you all!
Mrs. King actually reserved the right to take me to see this over a month ago, so we made plans to go last night. Obviously not the most well laid out plans though, seeing as we both wound up at different theaters.
You’ve got to love that. There are only two theaters in this entire town that are playing that movie, and we each wound up at one of them!
By the time I got myself to the theater she was at, the previews were just ending and the movie was beginning – perfect timing. I settled into my seat fully expecting to either love this movie or hate it; I didn’t anticipate any kind of wishy-washy in between on this one.
Here’s the part where I give you a disclaimer that there may be a few spoilers in this post. Really though, do any of us not know how this movie is going to end? I’m pretty sure that even if you haven’t seen it, there won’t be any surprises here!
It was kind of like Titanic in that way.
It was actually pretty funny. I was surprised in fact, at how much I was laughing. Some of the characters were just hysterical, and I could certainly relate to some of the things about this process that you just have to be able to laugh about.
It struck a nerve too though. I left the theater with this odd mix of emotion, knowing that two years ago I probably would have loved this movie but that something about it wouldn’t let me love it now.
Maybe it’s because part of me knew something was missing. There were a few jokes about the sperm donor she picked (redhead with freckles), but no insight at all into her selection process. I’ve got to say, I would have loved to see that play out. I can tell you all right now that as much as this decision has stressed me out; there is also something flat out funny about shopping for sperm online. It’s like internet dating – only more disturbing!
The Single Mothers By Choice group that was depicted was also way over the top. I totally get it for comedic appeal, but as a soon to be single mother by choice I had to fight the urge to scream “I am not that crunchy!” These women were loopy for sure, and I was almost a little bit embarrassed to be one of them. I had to keep reminding myself that this movie is not real life and that comedies often exaggerate circumstances to get a laugh. I had to keep telling myself that no one sees me as being quite that granola.
Right?
The part that hit the hardest though, was the man. Let me just tell you a little bit about this man: First of all, he is a cheese maker. Have I ever discussed with you all my addiction to cheese? Really, it isn’t healthy. I was at Natural Pantry today (kind of like Whole Foods but not as good) salivating over some new goat cheese in stock. It’s in my car right now just waiting for me to devour it. I’m thinking I’m going to make a beet salad and then just overload it with goat cheese. It’s going to be fabulous!
So yeah, a hot cheese maker would pretty much instantaneously win my heart. Prince charming is overrated – give me a man who makes cheese!
The thing that threw me though, was how quickly he fell into the Daddy role. I mean sure, he had a minor panic attack when he found out she was pregnant (they had only been on 2 dates, and she told him right after they slept together for the first time – which is so something I would probably do by the way. I have the most awkward timing you have ever seen!) After that freak out though, he was suddenly ready to be Daddy. From what I could tell he moved in with her, started planning how to financially support her and the baby, and went along to her very first doctor’s appointment like it was his natural place.
There was no “let’s take this slow” or “I think we should see where this goes without too much pressure”. Instead, he was pretty much all in. In fact, despite the normal panics I think most dads have (about money and how to be a parent); he never once seemed to question his role as the father.
Call me cynical, but really? Would that ever happen in a million years? I’m not saying a guy couldn’t step into that role, I’m just saying I don’t see it happening so fast. In fact, if a guy I had just started dating tried to take that position right out the gate I would probably be really freaked out!
Which is why I totally related when it was Jennifer Lopez who pulled away. It was she and her inability to trust that really threatened the relationship.
His words "When you do the autopsy here, just know that you have no one to blame for this but yourself" kind of sliced me open like a knife.
Stop me if no one sees the parallels here.
At one point she gets a lecture from her grandmother about the kind of life she will lead if she always pushes people away, and I had to fight back the tears. It could have been my grandmother talking to me.
I am a pusher. I have certainly gotten better over the years, but I still cut people off far too easily. If someone hurts me (or I fear they may hurt me) I tend to pull away – and quickly. I do this with all my relationships, not just romantic. I decided a long time ago that I would rather be lonely than betrayed, and I have for the most part stuck by that assertion.
But more and more lately I see that plan as leading me further down the path to lonely if I don’t learn to resist the urge to flee. I’ve gotten better at it in regards to friendships (and have a few incredible friendships to show for it), but I still feel myself shutting down when it comes to romantic relationships. I know myself, and if I were in Jennifer Lopez’s shoes – I probably wouldn’t have stuck it out even as long as she did! That is a scary situation and there is a lot on the line!
They wound up working it out though. Letting their love happen and living happily ever after.
And I left the theater feeling like a failure. If Jennifer Lopez can make it work, why can’t I?
And where on earth is my gorgeous cheese maker?!?
I think I’m going to stick to scary movies for a little while.
Rom Coms make me think too hard.
ADSPACE
