I had my HSG test this morning. There are theories that IVF is less successful if there is a blocked tube. Even though the tubes aren't utilized during IVF, it is thought that they may back up fluid into the uterus which can lead to a miscarriage. Therefore, I needed to have my remaining tube checked.
As of my last surgery it was still allowing some fluid through; it had scar tissue which made my doctor nervous about ectopic pregnancy risks, but it was technically still viable.
I was hoping it still would be today. Honestly, I just don’t like the idea of losing that tube. I know that with the damage to my ovaries combined with the damage to that one tube (my left one was removed my first surgery because of being completely blocked), the likelihood of me ever getting pregnant on my own is very low. I’m not counting on that chance at all (duh – I’m all about the IVF!) but there is something about knowing it is still there (even the vaguest of chances that one day I could wake up and be surprised to find myself pregnant!) that is comforting. I’m not ready to lose that last shred of hope for the future.
Thankfully, my friend Loo works at the hospital and is therefore on hand for tests, surgeries, and anytime I just find myself there because my body is broken! She gets oddly excited about these kinds of things – I’m pretty sure she would have sat in on my last surgery if someone would have let her!
So she was there to tag along, which helped lighten the mood and my tension right from the start.
We were seriously laughing from the very beginning. I think the nurse was surprised because this isn’t exactly a fun test, and Loo and I were just cracking up. The poor woman asked me if I was pregnant, and I kind of had to look at her like "seriously?" (although - my nurse called me yesterday just to tell me my pregnancy test came back negative. I had to laugh at her, but she told me she was actually kind of disappointed! Why do they even test me anymore? I keep telling them I'm not doing the deed, and it's not like any of us actually expect my insides to work even if I were - still, they continue to give me pregnancy tests everytime something new happens!)
Loo and I were talking about my IVF and I finally felt the need to turn to the nurse and say “By the way, we’re not together” only in that split second I realized that could come off wrong (especially if said nurse likes the ladies) so I then had to qualify with “not that that would be bad or anything – we’re just not like that.”
Awkward!
Fun and games were pretty much over as soon as I had to lie down and let them start sticking objects up my cootchie though.
This is how the test works: They insert a speculum in your cervix (just like a pap) and then they insert a catheter up to your uterus. Once there, they inflate a little balloon to hold the entire thing in place. Then they put the x-ray machine over your belly and release a contrast dye inside there while taking pictures.
Easy, right? Except my scar tissue made it more difficult than it should be to get the catheter in place. I was seriously sitting there sweating and squeezing poor Loo’s hand. It wasn’t even like it hurt so bad, it was just so uncomfortable to feel the pinching of her trying to make a path through the destruction.
Lovely.
Once everything was in place though, we were pretty good to go. The first thing the dye picked out right away was my uterus. You will be happy to know that all looks pretty good there! There is a little bit of endo in the one corner, but for the most part it is a decent looking triangle.
The entire screen kind of reminded me of one of those old school video games. You know, the ones that psychologists used to test people with back in the day on gigantic computer screens. Most psych students have had to see at least one or two videos in black and white depicting these old tests.
What do you mean you weren’t a psych student so you never saw those videos?
I think they’ve shown similar things on Lost too. Just think really old school.
That’s what this looked like. You could see the triangle (my uterus) the circle (the balloon) a long line (the catheter) and then – my tube, with fluid flowing through it!
WOO HOO!
Winner winner chicken dinner (where the heck does that come from and why do I think it every time something cool happens?!?) Someone has a viable tube ladies and gentlemen!
Don’t be jealous!
It doesn’t really change anything. It is still pretty scarred up and they would still advise me not to try to get pregnant naturally (although, when I talked to my dad he did tell me I should call the ex up and give it a whirl – my dad! You've got to love that fatherly advice!) But it does mean that I don’t have to lose the tube anytime soon, and that was very good news!
The entire test lasted all of 5 minutes. They pulled everything out and the nurse told me not to worry about leaking on the floor when I went to the bathroom to put my clothes back on. I had been warned about this leaking by AKD, and let me just tell you – there was no way I was going to allow that to happen! I’m sorry, but I’m not going to stand up and let all these cootchie juices fall to the floor and then let some poor nurse clean it up! I had thought about this. I had planned for this. I took the towel that was under me, shoved it right in between my legs like a diaper, and waddled to the bathroom with my tush on full display because I couldn’t hold the towel and my gown.
So worth it!
I think my nurse was pretty grateful too!
I did have to go and pick up a prescription to keep the tube from getting infected by the dye. How crazy would that be? I get a test to check for viability, find out it is good, and then the test itself leads to an infection that ruins it? No bueno!
While I was at the pharmacy, my fat butt may have picked up some Easter candy! Easter candy is my absolute favorite and I haven’t had any this year. I kind of felt like I deserved a reward (plus I was cramping post test and cramping usually equals candy in my world!) so I got two Cadbury Eggs and a little mini package of Peeps.
I decided Teeny's new diet can start after my birthday. It's only a week away, and I'm going to want a glass of wine and a bucket of cheese that night!
I'll be better after.
Then I came home, crawled into bed, “worked” from here the rest of the day, and devoured my candy.
Not too shabby!
I’ve got to admit, it feels good to have a test go right for once. I wouldn’t mind a few more just like that.
Only, maybe without so much vaginal leaking.
That was just gross.
ADSPACE
