I had my naturopathic follow up appointment today, and I was really excited; until the doctor looked at me as we were walking to her office and said “I can’t wait to talk to you about your crazy test results!”
Wonderful.
The test we were reviewing was that lovely pee in a bucket for 24 hours test I had to do last month. She set a sheet in front of me with about 20 long words on it (mostly different hormones), my results for each of those things, and what would be considered a “normal” result next to that.
Funny story. 90% of my levels were nowhere near normal.
The estrogens, as should be expected due to the Lupron, were barely detectable. In fact, a few of them actually said “not detected” in the results. She said this isn’t something to be too concerned about since it is technically the purpose of the Lupron, but she did tell me that she has seen women in menopause with better levels.
Great.
Then she took the piece of paper, highlighted something, and handed it back to me.
Testosterone. My level is 111. The normal range is 4-18.
It turns out, I’m a man.
She was kind of grinning at me and asked if I have a high sex drive.
Well. Err. Um….
OK, I confess, I have the sex drive of a teenage boy. I always have. I have always been the freak of nature amongst my friends. I have always been the girl who wears the men in her life out.
It doesn't take much to turn me on, and I've been joking that if I really want to stick to this "giving up sex until marriage" thing, I'm going to have to start going on supervised dates.
Even now, on the Lupron (which I have read ruins the sex drive of many women) I am refilling the batteries in my boyfriend more than I care to admit.
But really, I always just thought everyone else was lying about their sex drives. I always figured I was the normal one and they were the ones with issues.
Turns out, not so much.
I called my dad and told him I was supposed to be born with a penis.
OK, it’s actually not that big a deal. She said I have probably always had abnormally high levels (clearly - seriously, this explains so much for me!), but that we already know I had abnormally high levels of estrogen before too – they probably balanced each other out. An actual man’s testosterone levels are still much higher than mine are; it’s just that now I don’t have any estrogen to even things up.
So, all that self conscious energy I’ve had about the possibility that I am getting facial hair the past few months – may not be that far off. I officially have more male hormones than female hormones.
Wonderful.
At least I still have a pretty fabulous rack to remind me that I am still all that is woman.
Even if right now my hormones tell a different story.
In less embarrassing news, we didn’t accomplish much on the herb front. She is afraid to give me anything that might alter the effects of the Lupron, which I do understand. She was all behind acupuncture though, and so I officially have my recommendation written by an ANP to start that. She said that typically with her recommendation the insurance companies will cover it without any issues.
That was a relief to hear!
I have my consult with the acupuncturist tomorrow, and I am beyond thrilled. I have just heard so many wonderful success stories about acupuncture, and I can’t wait to start. I can’t wait to see what it can do to help all of my Lupron and Endo induced ailments!
It would be really cool if she could get a handle on that whole facial hair thing for me!
ADSPACE
