(Notice my “pensive” face… That’s the face of a girl who is completely and totally frustrated with herself!)
My grandma always told me that one day, when I got older, I would outgrow my klutziness. My grandma lied.
The worst part about it was that it literally was just like someone had scooped out a spoonful of skin, so it was still oozing and gross today. There was absolutely nothing I could do to cover that bad boy up, so instead I just had to convince everyone that no, I wasn’t drinking when it happened. Awesome.
Pretty sure that one is going to leave a mark.
I had my doctor’s appointment today too, and so of course I had to explain that I am not being beaten at home (because these are things doctors ask even when you don't come in looking as though you've had something thrown at your head!) Actually, I think the question was whether or not I feel “safe” at home, to which my answer was “no”. A look of horror flashed across the nurse’s face, and I had to explain that I just don’t feel “safe” anywhere with sharp edges and metal refrigerator handles. I am my own worst enemy.
It may not be a bad idea to childproof this place sooner than later!
I had my annual pap before my shot, and it was the first opportunity I’ve had to tell my OBGYN that I have decided on IVF. I hadn’t actually seen her since my surgery follow up. We had spoken on the phone about my most recent ultrasound results, but I didn’t tell her then for whatever reason. I’m so happy I waited though, because her reaction was priceless. She got so excited, and all of the nurses did too. It was this big thing, and everyone was on board. I loved it. She just kept saying she thought it was the best thing for me, and that she could tell how much happier I am now that I’ve made this decision. When we got serious again, she reiterated that in all of her years as an OBGYN she had never seen a case of endo spread as aggressively as mine had, and that even she is still nervous about future spreading for me. She was just so all about me doing this now, and it actually got me even more excited. She said that too many women wait until it’s too late, and that even though this will be hard for me some days, I will never regret making this decision. It was all exactly what I needed to hear.
We did my exam then, and I could tell she got a little anxious about my right side. It started bothering me on Friday, and I just chocked it up to the Lupron wearing off. But, I was really tender when she was poking around down there (I’m still amazed by the fact that doctors can just reach right up there and feel your ovaries… what is it that keeps them from falling out?) so she said she wants me to give the Lupron two weeks to get working again, and then if I’m still tender she wants to move my April ultrasound up. Fine with me, I can wait the discomfort out two weeks and hope it goes away. My right side has been my problem side since day one, so if we need to keep a better watch on it; I would rather be safe than sorry. She was reassuring though, and reminded me that we would figure this out even if my endometriomas returned. I just love my doctor.
Then it was time for my shot. Can I just tell you, that between both of my donations (where I gave myself shots every day) and this battle with endometriosis, I have been poked more than you can possibly imagine. I am not afraid of needles, and I don’t think they hurt (when you have collapsed to the floor in real pain, a needle prick will never seem like a big deal again), but I can’t help it; I tense up when I am about to get a shot. So there I was, lying stomach first on the table, with my butt cheeks in the air and clenched as tight as could be. I was laughing, because I knew I was doing it, but I couldn’t stop. That’s when my lovely nurse started shaking my left cheek until it finally loosened up; another one of those things I never thought would happen to me as a grown woman! When she was done squeezing every last drop of Lupron into my tush, she gave me a slap on the butt as if I were a newborn. Oh man… I love my life!
The best part about today's shot though? It means that I am officially a quarter of the way through with this year long journey to baby. I've got 3 months down, 9 more to go until it is time to try. Thinking about that just gets me giddy!
I did get sick this morning though, hours before my doctor’s appointment. I half thought I maybe had a concussion from the banging of my head, but I didn’t have any bruising or a bump; just a giant divot of skin missing. I can’t imagine it was a hormone thing either, because I haven’t been sick from that in at least a month. I think I’m getting a little stomach bug, which isn’t super exciting seeing as I was throwing up within 24 hours of my last Lupron shot. Therefore, I am looking forward to this little stomach bug getting much worse before it gets better.
I would consider calling in sick to work tomorrow, but now that everyone is convinced I’m a booze hound who can’t protect her own face when she drinks, I’m not sure that would be the best idea.
Of course, throwing up at my desk probably won’t help the situation either.
