A new friend shared this link with me yesterday, and I just felt compelled to share it with all of you, because… well, because it left me with chills.
I’m not usually a country fan (and I had never heard of the artist) but I just loved the video. The words were amazing, but the signs everyone were holding throughout the video is what really got me. Just incredible - took my breath away.
I just took my second shower of the day. I am going out with some friends tonight, and there is going to be a guy there. This is a guy my friends have been talking about hooking me up with for a while, but it just hasn’t happened for a variety of reasons (mostly my complete disinterest in dating or being set up for the last few months!) There is a house warming party tonight though, and it should be a fairly pressure free zone for us to meet.
When they first started talking about setting the two of us up, everything I heard was great. He is intelligent, good looking, has a stable job, and a dry sense of humor – all things I am always saying I’m looking for in a guy! Then, one of the girls at the table says “I would totally date him, except sometimes he has that whole BO thing going on.”
Wait. What? My friends think I should be hooked up with a guy who has hygiene issues? The worst part was that no one disagreed! They all quickly explained it away, and we had a good laugh, but… This could get interesting.
Let’s just say I don’t have my hopes up.
So, I just took my second shower of the day – both because I want to model good (and fresh smelling) behaviors, and also because; I kind of just felt dirty today. I didn’t do anything. I sat at my desk all day.
But – I felt dirty.
I woke up this morning in a much better mood. I felt good, and ready to take on the world. Unfortunately, as the day wore on, my heart started to feel heavy again. Heavy over a lot of things, which I am sure are just exacerbated by the shot. I’ve seen a lot of meanness lately; a lot of judgment directed towards people who are simply different, or who make different choices. A lot of lashing out at people who just don’t fit in. My heavy heart over all of this just left me wanting a second shower before going out and enjoying a night with my friends. I needed to clean all the yuck away!
In the last 6 months I have made a conscious effort to try to always see where others are coming from, and to not judge or criticize behind people’s backs. If I disagree, I try to say it to your face. I try to be honest, but most importantly – I am trying to be understanding. I have failed from time to time. There were some discussions about homosexuality not too long ago that got me riled up, and I have had my feelings hurt a few times and probably not reacted right; but I have been trying. I have been trying to be the person I want those around me to be like. Positive and upbeat; warm and understanding. I have been trying.
Still, I keep seeing nastiness in the world. I saw it directed towards some people I deeply respect recently and I was unnerved. I just didn’t understand.
I don’t understand meanness for the sake of meanness. I don’t understand personally attacking someone solely because you disagree or they have stepped on your toes somehow. I want people to be better to each other. I want the world to be nicer.
I want to build a life that is Gum Drops and Lollipops, and spread love instead of hate.
Yes, I know I sound like Suzy Sunshine.
For the record – I still miss sex like crazy and would not mind a good old fashioned roll in the hay. I still think curse words in my head (and speak them aloud more than I care to admit!), and find myself biting my tongue when I disagree with someone. I still want to rally against the wrongs of this world, and I wouldn’t mind kicking the ex in the nuts.
I am not claiming innocence or perfection here; I’m just claiming a new found resolve for understanding. I want to try to understand where people are coming from before I jump down their throats (and to be clear – I have a history of jumping down a few throats. I know how to use my words, and that is not always a gift I have used for good.) I want to avoid being so sensitive, and try to understand the motives behind certain actions rather than the results. I want to be a positive light, not a Negative Nancy.
Just call me Suzy Freaking Sunshine!
But what is so wrong with wanting that? I know there are people in my life who would read this and just laugh and find 18 different things to make fun of. But, what is wrong with a life that is built on surrounding yourself with positivity instead of negativity? What is so wrong with wanting to build people up instead of tear them down? Shouldn’t we all want that, at least on some level?
Life is too short. Negativity will always abound, but I don’t have to surround myself with it, and I don’t have to let it get me down. Most importantly, I don’t have to participate.
I know it’s unrealistic to seek out the Gum Drops and Lollipops, and that in the end I will get let down every time; but maybe I would rather strive for how it should be than sit back and accept how it is.
When I have kids, I do want to teach them that life can’t always be Gum Drops and Lollipops.
But I also want them to know that sometimes, if you really try; you can still find a tootsie roll here and there.
ADSPACE
