What's it to you?
I’ve stopped buttoning my pants. I’m not proud, but it’s true. It started with the top clasp on my grown-up pants at work, and then graduated to the top two clasps (this does no justice to my express pants which used to fit flawlessly and accentuate all the curves I used to love). Now I’m leaving even my fat jeans unbuttoned. No one has noticed (thank goodness... and thank you winter sweaters which hide everything), but I know, and I'm embarrassed (not to mention, totally not in a position to be buying a new wardrobe because I over-expanded past my old one).
I've been blaming my "swelly-belly" on my surgeries for a while now, but I'm pretty sure that is supposed to get better as time passes, not worse. I would also love to blame it on the Lupron (since that is one of the side effects), but I know that isn't what has caused the slow gain (and by slow, I mean about 10 pounds in the last 2 months… that’s slow, right???) What has is the fact that I have allowed myself to remain sedentary, and to eat whatever it is that my little heart desires whenever I want with zero restraint. No good. Time to pull it back together!
The new diet/exercise plan (focus on being healthy and strong [for baby making] rather than losing weight, although hopefully some weight will be lost in the process… and by some, I’m thinking like 20 pounds) starts tomorrow. It was supposed to start last Monday, but then I got roped into making baked macaroni and cheese for a baked mac and cheese bake-off Mrs. King planned (a bake-off that never happened – I’ve been eating leftovers all week). I’m one of those people who has to start new diets on Mondays. I can’t explain it, it’s just a weird little quirk of mine. So yes, tomorrow, it is on. I’m not ready to add meat in yet (I’m still really terrified of that idea), but I’ll get there.
I have my Doctors appointment tomorrow too. I’ve been preparing myself for the bad news so that I don’t get discouraged and decide to give up the diet all together (like I said, I cannot afford a new wardrobe, and I will not be able to wear bulky sweaters forever). I’m not even meeting with my Dr. tomorrow, she was just going to call me with the ultrasound results. I think we both know what the return of my pain means, and it’s just a matter of formulating a new plan of action, which can be done just as easily over the phone. I’m wondering if she’s even going to want me to take that second shot of Lupron, since I’m supposed to pick that up at the pharmacy today and it costs $30 (out of pocket – that stuff costs my insurance close to $2000 though). Think you can return unused shots?
I’m off to church (in my unbuttoned pants). Do you think it’s OK to pray for the strength to get your butt back down to an appropriate size so that your clothes fit again?
ADSPACE
