I’ve been stressed all day. It’s stupid, but I have my consult with a social worker at Seattle Reproductive Medicine tomorrow, and I’m anxious. I have to spend an hour talking to this lady before I can be allowed into the sperm donor program. I get the purpose behind it, and I don’t really think for a second that they are going to deny me (do they even really do that? This is big bucks for them after all!), but I still just find the entire thing irritating. The consult alone is going to cost me $200 out of pocket (yes, I have to pay them to judge me and decide if they are going to allow me to pay them again... brutal!), and my stubborn side wants to push back and say “Why do I need approval? Nobody gave those 16 & Pregnant girls approval!” It kind of makes me feel like I'm being picked on, and the "But... it's not fair!" 5 year old living inside of me starts to stick her lower lip out and pout (and yes, I have a 5 year old living inside of me. I also have a hormonal teenage boy and a cantankerous old lady in there. Lately, theres been a bitter, dried up, menopausal shrew poking around too, but I try to make her stay isolated in a corner. Sometimes it can get pretty crowded in there.)
I know they want to make sure I understand what I am getting into, and that I recognize the complications involved with using donor sperm (mainly identity issues that a resulting child may face… I had to go through all of this when I donated my eggs too), but come on people! Does anyone really enter into this decision lightly? OK, there was Octomom, but does she really have to ruin it for the rest of us?!? I know all the implications; trust me, I mulled over them for months before making this decision. I don’t like the idea of someone talking to me as though I haven’t considered those potential issues. It just feels like it is going to be a long hour of my time, and I’m not really looking forward to it.
So, I was kind of irritated and anxious over it all day today, and I left work a little high strung (so bizarre for me, right?!?!) I was driving home though, and this song came on:
And suddenly I had the radio blasting and I was singing at the top of my lungs. It’s funny, because I don’t remember ever being much of an Aqua fan, but there I was: singing every word, doing the hair flips, and waving my hands in the air (I am an awesome driver!) At one point I looked over and this guy was staring at me from his car with this look on his face that was a bizarre mix of utter horror and total amusement. I stared right back and mouthed “Come on Barbie, Let’s Go Party. Ooooh Ahhhh, Ooooh Ahhhh!” Then I laughed my ass off, and I thought “This is what life is about. I need to stop being such a stress case and remember to have some fun!”
So, I’m going to have some fun with the sperm lady (or, "the gate keeper" as I would like to refer to her from here on out!) tomorrow. I am going to be witty and adorable and I am totally going to win her over. That woman is going to be begging me to take their sperm… She is practically going to be giving it away (I wish!) It is going to be like sperm-a-palooza in that joint!
OK, probably not, but it certainly isn’t going to be something for me to get all worked up over either!
(Side note: Bloggy Blog Designz is having a giveaway, and I really really really want to win because I want my blog to be all pretty and hopped up on aesthetics, but I am so lacking in the whole visual creativity department. I just can't do it, and I want them to do it for me. But, since I'm not spending money on non-essentials [and dang it all, because 3 months ago I would have dropped money on this in a heart beat!] I am going to go all out and try to win a package! Here are the details: Bloggy Blog Designz is doing it all over again! They are giving away blog designs and all kinds of goodies. Plus ALL entrants will receive 15% off their purchase! Be sure to check out their website for more information, or to enter yourself. The giveaway will close on Jan 31 at midnight. Go to www.bloggyblogdesignz.com to enter!)
Bring on the gate keeper, Mama's gonna get herself some sperm!
ADSPACE
