I had a dentist appointment this week, and I found myself sitting in the chair being told that my gums were swollen, puffy and bleeding. It kind of felt like I was getting a bad grade in school, and my stomach was twisting in knots. I felt guilty, as though I was a serious failure. The thing was though, I’m not a failure. I know that I brush my teeth 4 times a day (at least), and that I floss AND use that little tooth-pick brush thingy (I sure hope everyone knows what I’m talking about, because I have no idea what that thing is called) in between each of my teeth right after the flossing. I'm a perfectionist here people, and if someone tells me I need to be doing something (and especially if said someone is going to be checking up on me every 6 months), I do it. I take serious pride in my teeth. I had braces for 4 years, and I refuse to let those bad boys look anything short of perfect (which brings me to the fact that I am starting to get a little gap in between my two side/front teeth, and it is seriously distressing me. It’s not bad enough that anyone would ever notice, but my tongue goes straight to that gap all the time, and food sticks in it, and I’m afraid I’m making it worse. Unfortunately, in the realm of wants vs. needs, I really don’t need to spend money going to an orthodontist and paying who knows how much to fix that one little gap, so it will have to stay... at least in the short term.)
So, there I was, sitting in the chair being chastised by my dentist. The same thing happened my last appointment, and even though I didn’t really understand how it was possible at the time, I seriously stepped up my routine the last six months; determined to be that star patient who turns it all around. Realizing all my work had been for not, I finally blew up a little in that chair. I swore up and down (like a child, I’m sure) that I had been doing everything right, that I hadn’t skipped a single night. They looked at me skeptically (I’m sure they have seen many a patient own up to a routine they don’t actually partake in, but I wasn’t lying damnit!), but they proceeded to go through the list of things that could cause swollen bleeding gums.
The third item on that list was “hormonal fluctuations”. I practically screamed out “I have endometriosis!” (my enthusiasm over this fact was instantly disturbing, even to me) “My hormones have been out of whack for at least the last year and a half, and I’ve been on synthetic hormones for two months!” I was literally grinning from ear to ear, feeling somehow redeemed in the face of persecution. “Well, that could definitely cause this then.” They said, as I sat smugly in my chair with the bib around my neck. “But it just means you have to try even harder than a normal person. I’m going to give you another tool to use.”
So now, I have this ominous looking gold handled object with a weird rubber tip I am supposed to rub along my gums after the flossing and tooth pick thingy, and before the brushing. Plus, I have one more ailment to blame on my endo.
All my excitement quickly faded and I thought “Great. Next thing I know you’re going to be telling me this disease may make me tired, swollen, cranky, and keep me from having babies too... wait... shit.”
ADSPACE
