Date night was not completely disappointing. He was not unattractive, he’s a cop (a plus in my book seeing as I grew up surrounded by cops, my dad included), and he owns a home on an acre of land. He’s never been married or had kids, and he is ready to settle down and start heading that direction. He also paid the tab without my even realizing he had picked it up (I don’t want to seem like I’m one of those girls who thinks this is necessary, because I am certainly capable of paying for my own dinner, and I even like to be able to pick up the tab myself from time to time, but… The last date I went on the guy was actually into me, but he wanted to go “halvsies” and it just seemed so pathetic and cheap that I couldn’t bear to go out with him again. Shit. I am one of those girls.) Those are all good things, but the best thing about him was that he was absolutely hysterical. He had that really dry sense of humor where you find yourself trying to figure out if the person is joking or not, and I love that. I did ask him for a sperm sample, and he just assumed I was joking and started cracking up… If only he knew!
So, does he have second date potential? Absolutely. Does he have baby daddy potential? I’m not so sure about that one. Here’s why:
1.) I wasn’t exactly picturing myself making out with the guy. He wasn’t bad looking, but I also wasn’t really attracted to him. Maybe that will grow, but with every guy I have ever been with (even the ones who weren’t textbook good-looking) there has been something about them that has given me an almost instantaneous attraction. I kind of feel like that’s how it’s supposed to be, that it has something to do with pheromones or something! My pheromones weren’t picking up anything off this guy. He also sent me a text message just a few hours after dinner to tell me that it had been one of the best nights he had had in a while and he couldn’t wait to see me again, which was nice, but… a bit much for me. I don’t need to be coddled, ESPECIALLY when something is so new.
2.) He made a comment during dinner about how the wife of a friend of his had recently gone out while her husband had stayed home with the kids, and he just didn’t think that was right. I mentioned that it may have been a friend’s birthday or bachelorette party and as long as it wasn’t a regular thing I didn’t see the issue, and he said that her husband should have gone with her if it was an event (but he also stated that he couldn’t remember a time when his parents had ever paid money for a babysitter to go out and get drunk). I let the conversation drop there, because it’s not exactly like I’m all that big on going out, but… I do need to know I can have a life separate from my husband’s when the time comes. A girl’s night, or even a girl’s weekend, are things I am going to need to have without worrying about jealousy or friction. I’ll happily give him his same time with the boys, but I am not looking for a “let’s do everything together always” relationship. I need to know we can have our own interests, our own friends, and our own lives from time to time. It was only a 10 second conversation, so I’m not going to put too much credence into it, but it did set off some red flags, and it is something to look out for…
3.) He has a horrible name. His first name reminds me of the nursery rhyme about kissing the girls and making them cry (which is more a reflection on his parents than him, but still; if I’m looking at spending holidays the rest of my life with this persons family, they need to be sensible people, and his name makes me question that), and his last name is something I cannot even begin to pronounce, let alone imagine signing. When he told it to me (he did so in the context of saying I could Google him, which I would never do… Not my style. I once looked up the ex on the court records website [at a friend’s suggestion], and I felt so guilty [like I was spying on him] that I confessed almost as soon as I saw him that night) I immediately thought “That’s not my name.”
And this is why I am still single. I am possibly discounting a guy because I can’t imagine sharing his last name. But really. It doesn’t sound like me even a little bit. Even Loo (one of my soul-mate friends who I felt like I knew [and like she knew me] completely within 20 minutes of meeting her… The only other person in this world I so instantly connected with was B-Face. Sometimes you just get lucky enough to meet people who you feel like you have known forever!), upon hearing his name, said “I think you can do better than that.” Which of course had me dying of laughter, because it had been my thoughts exactly! Loo incidentally had a pilot over who she has been dying to hook me up with when I showed up at her house after my date. I have to admit, he was just my type. Great smile, perfect eyes; I was instantly attracted (pheromones, I’m telling you). She tried to urge me to stay the night and cuddle up with him, which I’m pretty sure I could have done (despite the fact that she and I were talking about my date AND my most recent Doctors visit in front of him, neither of which could have been turn-ons!), but… He is only in town for brief intervals every few months, and he is looking to get transferred to Hawaii or somewhere in California. There would be absolutely no future there, so even though he was just so good looking, and it would have been nice to have someone to make-out with, I came home. I don’t have time to pursue boys I have no future with anymore; I’ve got to keep my mind open to the ones who have forever potential.
Hmmm… At least I’m maturing in some areas!
ADSPACE
