I’ve asked my Dr. on a few occasions about alternative options that may also work to help combat the endo and stave off the side effects of the Lupron. Specifically, I had read about the effects of diet change and acupuncture. At one point I was ready to give up cheese, alcohol, and sweets all together because of the effect I had read they could have on estrogen levels, but my Dr. effectively talked me out of it (which wasn’t a huge stretch, I've been a vegetarian since I was 13, but I am completely and totally addicted to cheese!) stating that there weren’t any studies to back up such a change. Still… I relied 100% on Western medicine after my first surgery, and that didn't work out so well for me. After my most recent surgery I needed to feel like I was doing something; like I was playing an active role in my treatment, instead of just lying there and taking the shot in the ass every 3 months like a good girl!
My health insurance does not cover naturopathic treatments “unless deemed medically necessary by a practicing physician”. Basically what that means is that I would need a prescription if I, for instance, wanted to try accupuncture to stave off the horrible nausea I get from the Lupron (which is not even nearly as miserable for me as it is for so many woman I've read and heard about [I think possibly because I had been on it before so my body was prepared and I knew what to expect], but still, it would be nice to not feel like throwing up everyday). I knew I wouldn’t get that prescription from my Dr., and I also knew that I didn’t want to switch Doctors. I trust her with my insides, and after my first horrible experience I have no interest in giving another Dr. a chance when it comes to opening me up right now. I wanted to try to figure something out though, so I started doing some research and I found a clinic in town that combines western and eastern therapies. I was surprised to find it, because in so many ways it feels like we are so behind up here, but I was excited! The website made it look like “Private Practice”, and the more I read the more into it I got. I made my initial appointment with one of their ANP’s, because I would need her to evaluate me and make recommendations/referrals before my insurance would cover anything.
My appointment was today. I walked in equipped with my last year’s worth of medical records (a file I just received last week which filled one entire day with completely traumatic reading), and photos from both my surgery’s (fascinating and horrifying all at once). This place was one of the nicest Doctors offices I had ever been too. It reminded me more of a spa than a clinic (which makes sense, I saw more room’s set up with massage tables than with desks). I sat nervously in the lobby on one of the leather arm chairs listening to the classical music, sipping their fancy water, staring intently at the giant salt water fish tank and missing Australia and the Great Barrier Reef (the most amazing place I’ve ever been [my happy place], I would give a lot to go back to that point in my life), and thinking to myself that my life has become ruled by Doctors appointments.
When I was called back I sat in the ANP’s office quietly while she reviewed my records. After a few minutes she asked all the same questions I’ve answered to every new health provider I’ve come in contact with in the last 8 months. It’s gotten to the point where I feel like I could answer these questions in my sleep; there is hardly any feeling left when I explain the timeline of the last year. After about 45 minutes she told me she had a practitioner in mind she wanted me to see who specializes in infertility. The person she is referring me to has a full practice and isn’t accepting new patients, but she thinks if she makes a special request she can get me in. In the meantime, she wants me to do a 24-hour urine test to assess my hormone levels (apparently all my other blood and pee tests over the last year don't quite cut it).
She gave me this bucket:
I am supposed to collect my urine for 24 straight hours. Looking at this thing I caught myself thinking "That is never going to fit in the toilet. I’m going to have to put it in the shower and kind of squat over it... I could make that work." I was sitting there pondering the logistics when she mentioned "you'll just need to get a small container to urinate in, and then you can transfer it to this jug." It was at that moment that it dawned on me what an idiot I am. A logical person would have realized immediately that you would need a smaller container. I am not logical. I tend to make everything in life more difficult than it needs to be, although; peeing over a giant jug in the shower did create some amusing mental imagery for me.
The other dilemma I saw with this was that I'm not going to want to go anywhere for that 24 hours. I mean, really, would I want to be dragging this jug around with me? It’s not exactly work-appropriate, and I can’t even imagine taking it to the mall... maybe the movies. The good news is that typically you are supposed to do this test on a certain day of your cycle (which would have likely left me taking another day off work), but since I haven't had a period since July, I don't exactly have a cycle, which means I can do it whenever I want (there's a silver lining if ever I've seen one!) I'm thinking it is going to be the perfect excuse to be lazy and stay in bed watching lifetime movies all day some Saturday here very soon!
So anyway, once you fill this thing up (I'm pretty sure I could top it off within 12 hours, I pee a lot...) You are supposed to jiggle it a little (no shaking, you don't want bubbles!) and then transfer some of the "mixture" into a smaller container which needs to be placed in a bag, and then in a Styrofoam box with an ice pack, and then in another bag for shipping. This whole process just seems like a lot of urine transfer to me, and all of it will be occurring from the comfort of my very own bathroom... I am going to need some heavy duty cleaning supplies; knowing me, there is definitely going to be some spillage! And the out of pocket cost to contaminate my bathroom? $225. Ironically, the same exact price as those brown Dansko boots I’ve been eyeing. Oh well. The ANP said that if insurance decides to cover the test as a hormone check as opposed to an infertility test that I will get a credit back, so maybe I'll just look at it kind of like lay-away: if I get the credit, I get the boots, if not... well, it's not like I really needed new boots anyway (and I am working very hard on seperating my spending into needs vs. wants), and compared to the joy that I will gain from peeing in a jug for 24 straight hours, well, there's simply no comparison!
